Tag Archives: rhyming

In a Pickle

Have you ever tried to grab,
A pickle from a jar?
Its swimming in the juice.
Down very, very far.

First you try your hands.
Five finger grabbers each.
Your hand goes in the jar.
But that pickle’s out of reach!

The pickle glares back at you.
On it’s face, a smirk!
You come to the conclusion.
Your hands aren’t going to work.

You go into the drawer.
That holds the silverware.
You glance back towards the jar.
And see that pickle glare.

You grab yourself a fork.
The longest you can find.
You have a plan in place.
You’ll sneak up from behind.

You reach into the jar.
That pickle’s oh so near.
You jab down with that fork.
As if you had a spear.

But that pickle has a plan.
It gives your fork the slip.
It dodges and it weaves.
You try to keep your grip.

You jab down with that fork again.
You’ve got something to prove.
You just can’t seem to catch it.
That pickle’s on the move!

Then finally you connect.
You spear it with the tines.
You start to lift that pickle,
From deep in its confines.

But when you’re just about to,
Get that pickle from the jar.
Something awful happens
Something so bizarre!

Your progress gets impeded.
A challenging impasse.
That pickle is too long.
It catches on the glass!

It falls off of the fork.
And dives back towards the juice.
Once again that pickle,
Is free and on the loose.

You hear that pickle laugh.
It’s averted your attack.
You close the pickle jar.
And decide to put it back.

You know you’ve been defeated.
You gave it your best shot.
Instead you eat an Apple.
‘Cause they don’t fight a lot!

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Rhyme Tyme

Let me preface this post by saying…

This is not one of my traditional posts. You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will not be overly entertained. This is just a little self promotion, perhaps a little self reflection, perhaps a little request for input.  I realized today as I was adding my latest rhyming poem, “Things on me are changing…” to my page “Rhyme Tyme” that I now have 18 poems on this page. As I am close to reaching my 200th post, that’s roughly 10% of my posts that have been rhyming stories, which is either really cool… or which means I have a serious mental illness.

Anyhow, I’ve never really added them up, I just add the links as they are published and hope that some naive reader happens by and hits the page and reads some of them.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to happen very often. Today, I added them up and was frankly kind of impressed with my little self!

During my recent six-week hiatus from blogging, (which I was happy to discover that many of you noticed) I have to admit to going through one of those blog-polar spells, where on a daily basis I wondered what the point of this whole writing gig is and why I spend so much time on it. It happens every once in a while, as I suspect it happens to all of us. As usual, something clicks and the ideas and the motivation come roaring back and the posts start flowing again.

My motivation?

I think about this a lot and although it’s a complex mixture of ingredients that get me to the keyboard, for the most part, it’s a need to entertain, to write something that has an impact on someone, that makes people laugh or smile or cry or think. The interaction, the comments, the “likes” the subscriptions, the tweets… that’s the reward and just like when we get a paycheck, or a thank you, or a pat on the back… it makes us feel good and keeps us going.

But there’s also, in the back of all of our minds, that idea, that maybe… just maybe… we can write something good enough to be noticed on a larger scale.

I have always felt if there was anything remotely marketable from my blog, out in the real world, it would be some of the rhyming stories I have written, either individually or as a group. Some are these are personal, some are fictional, some are influenced by stuff that happens in my life.  Some are legitimately kid’s stories, some I would classify more as “kids stories for adults!” As these poems will no doubt continue to grow in numbers, I wonder sometimes if I should do something with them.

What? I don’t know. Sometimes I consider consolidating them all onto a separate site geared specifically towards rhyming stories, but the thought of building and maintaining a second website is horribly overwhelming to me. On the other hand, I do feel badly that, for the most part, they will continue to be housed here on Brown Road Chronicles only to rot away like a field of dead zombies during a zombie apocalypse!

So… if you have a few minutes today and want to  read some fun rhyming stories, please check them out. If you are a parent, share them with your kids… or share them with your dog… or your turtle… or whatever.  If you don’t want to, that’s okay, I won’t be offended, I’ll just hold a grudge  on you for the rest of my life.

Kidding…

A few favorites of mine:

From One to Ten

Mr. Smither was in a Dither

When Goats Eat Remotes

The Snow Globe

The Tale of Slobenia Isle

Roadkill Stew

Or click on the Rhyme Tyme link and you can see all of them.

Have fun… and of course… THANKS, as always, to all of you that read this blog on a regular basis!

 

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One Less Moose

A Counting Story…

I was driving down a Busy Road.
And ONE big Moose got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Moose alive today!

I was driving down the Interstate.
And TWO large Deer got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TWO less Deer alive today!

I was driving down a Thoroughfare.
And THREE fat Geese got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s THREE less Geese alive today!

I was driving down a Boulevard.
And FOUR Opossum got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FOUR less Opossum alive today!

I was driving down an Avenue.
And FIVE small Frogs got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FIVE less Frogs alive today!

I was driving down a City Street.
And SIX Pigeons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SIX less Pigeons alive today!

I was driving down a Two-Track Trail.
And SEVEN Turtles got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SEVEN less Turtles alive today!

I was driving down a Quiet Lane.
And EIGHT Raccoons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s EIGHT less Raccoons alive today!

I was driving down a Country Road.
And NINE Turkeys got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s NINE less Turkeys alive today!

I was driving down a Rural Route.
And TEN Coyotes got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TEN less Coyotes alive today!

I was driving to the Body Shop…

And ONE Moose… and TWO Deer… and THREE Geese… and FOUR Opossum… and FIVE Frogs… and SIX Pigeons… and SEVEN Turtles… and EIGHT Raccoons… and NINE Turkeys… and TEN Coyotes… got in my way!

Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Truck alive today!

***Not a true story!***

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If you had to choose a tool to use…

When working ’round your house, there’s lot of TOOLS you’ll need to use.
Let’s look at some so when it’s time, you’ll know which one to choose.

If you had to choose a tool to use to pound a shiny NAIL,
A HAMMER with a big strong head will help you to prevail!

If you had to choose a tool to use to drive a THREADED SCREW,
A SCREWDRIVER with long steel shaft would do that job for you!

If you had to choose a tool to use to tighten down a NUT,
A WRENCH with jaws that you adjust would surely make the cut!

If you had to choose a tool to use to cut a BOARD in two,
A SAW with sharp and shiny teeth would cut that board right through!

If you had to choose a tool to use to make a hole in WOOD,
A POWER DRILL with a sharpened BIT is a choice that would be good!

If you had to choose a tool to use to pull some rusty NAILS,
A HAMMER with large CLAWS that grab is all that job entails!

If you had to choose a tool to use to dig yourself a HOLE,
A SHOVEL with a nice sharp blade would help you reach that goal!

If you had to choose a tool to use to grab on something tight,
A PAIR OF PLIERS with jaws that grip would complete that job just right!

If you had to choose a tool to use to hold two BOARDS you’ve glued,
A CLAMP that you can tighten down is a choice that would be shrewd!

If you had to choose a tool to use to make sure things are STRAIGHT,
A LEVEL with an air bubble is a tool that would be great!

If you had to choose a tool to use to cover walls with PAINT,
A PAINT BRUSH is the proper tool with which you should acquaint!

And when you’re done you’ll need a spot to put your tools away.
A TOOLBOX is the place to keep them for another day!

And if you want to read about what can happen when pulling rusty nails, read this! 🙂

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The Sylvia Plath Effect

From the sick and twisted files…

There’s research ’bout writers, shall have you amazed.
People who write, they tend to be crazed.
Struggling with life, conflicted and torn.
From deep in their psyche, creativity’s born.

Specifically, something that shouldn’t surprise.
A dynamic most writers would likely surmise.
‘Tis based on the poet Sylvia Plath.
There’s a complex disorder, many poets does hath.

The Sylvia Plath Effect, what it’s been named.
Poets doth suffer, that’s what is claimed.
Depression and sadness and other conditions,
Drives all these folks to their writing ambitions.

The deep, inward thoughts they scroll on the pages.
Unquestionably not because of the wages.
Something compels them to write what they write.
To document all of their internal plight.

Now Sylvia Plath, couldn’t deal with her strife.
At the young age of thirty she ended her life.
Into her oven she placed down her head.
Turned on the gas and soon she was dead.

That set me to wonder, am I mad as a hatter?
I like to write verse, what does that matter?
They’re not really poems they’re just silly rhymes.
They make people chuckle most of the times.

Seuss wasn’t crazy, least not that I’ve heard.
His stories are poems, yet often preferred,
by children, worldwide, just starting to read.
One of the greatest, you’d surely concede.

So I think I’m okay, I’ve not been affected.
The Sylvia Plath Effect’s not been detected.
Some people may think I am slightly eclectic.
The good news, my oven runs on electric!

There is lots of fascinating information out there regarding the tendency of creative writers (and in general, artists, writers, musicians and other creative types) to suffer from all sorts of personality disorders and it begs the chicken and egg question… which comes first the creativity or the mental health issues?  Think how often someone posts about writing being therapeutic. What are your thoughts? Do you write because you’re crazy…. or does writing just drive you crazy? 🙂

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A Ghostly Tale

Our old house is sometimes creaky.
Sometimes noisy, sometimes squeaky.
We love it still with all its quirks.
So long as all the plumbing works.

We live there happily undaunted.
Although we’re told the house is haunted.
Our guess is that it’s just a hoax.
Though spirits are elusive folks.

There’s a story ‘bout a ghost that’s told.
She harkens from a time of olde.
We think her name is Abbie Hill.
Albeit we haven’t seen her still.

See, Mrs. Hill and her loving spouse.
They used to own this big old house.
They built it as their family grew.
Way back in Eighteen-Ninety-Two.

Now why she’d rather stick around,
than head off where she should be bound.
The answer, surely no one knows.
But this is how the story goes.

The previous owners told this tale.
To us, before we closed the sale.
They saw her at their kitchen table.
They swore this story was no fable.

She sat there in a kitchen chair.
A fancy bun up in her hair.
She wore a nineteenth-century dress.
Her image had a slight fluoresce.

Then just as fast as she’d appeared.
Her ghostly apparition cleared.
It took all of their common sense.
To explain this strange experience.

Then one night as the wife was sleeping.
She awoke to find the ghost was peeping,
at her, as she lay in bed.
A sight that filled her up with dread.

But this ghost seemed not to bear ill-feeling,
as she played this game of brief revealing.
Then with a touch of Laissez Faire.
She vanished quickly in the air.

So when we heard this new disclosure.
We had to keep our strict composure.
We loved this house with all our might.
Why worry about a ghostly sight?

We bought the house with nervous laughter.
And moved our stuff in shortly after.
Wondering then, to what extent,
We’d see our ghostly resident.

But so far she has not presented.
Apparently she’s quite contented.
To share this house on old Brown Road.
This home with which we’ve been bestowed.

And now we’ve lived here many years.
Shared smiles and laughs and hugs and tears.
Regardless if we’re rich or poor.
We hope we’ll live here many more.

And if our ghost decides to show.
In all her radiance and glow.
I guess we’ll have to let her stay.
To haunt us for another day!

Most of you have read the full Ghost Story here!  If you’d like to read more about Abbie Hill, check out the link! 🙂

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The ABC’s of Publishing a Children’s Book

A is for Agents who I’m sending my query.
B is for Books which may soon disappeary.
C is for Children’s, a cut-throat division.
D is for waiting to hear their Decision.
E is for E-mailing queries like mad.
F is for Failing to proofread, so sad!
G is for Great, all the stories I’ve written.
H is for Hoping the agent is smitten.
I is for Indigestion I get from declines.
J is for Juggling submission guidelines.
K is for Keeping my eyes on success.
L is for Losing my mind from the stress.
M is for Money I hope they will pay.
N is for No which I hear everyday.
O is for Overworked, its taking its toll.
P is for Published, the ultimate goal.
Q is for Quitting and giving up writing
R is for Rhyming books, always exciting
S is for Seuss, everybody would read him.
T is for Tired of trying to beat him.
U is for Unpublished and feeling out of balance.
V is for Vastly overestimating my talents.
W is for Writing with all my finesse.
X is for eXpecting to always impress.
Y is for Yes, when someone finally replies.
Z is for ZZZZZZZZZZZZ I can rest my tired eyes!

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