Tag Archives: kid’s stories

Ducks in a Row

An Idiom Story…

ducks in a row

Credit: Forbes.com

One day I decided I should get my ducks in a row.
I thought that getting them in a row would be a drop in the bucket.
But this particular morning my ducks had a chip on their shoulder.
We were already starting the day off on the wrong foot.

So in a LOUD voice, I yelled at my ducks, “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when pigs fly!”

So in a LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks, “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when the cows come home!”

So in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when Hell freezes over!”

So in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row over our dead bodies!”

So, in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “come Hell or high water, we are not going to get in a row!”

I was madder than a mad hatter and the blood in my veins was starting to boil!
I was thrashing around like a chicken with its head cut off!
It was not my finest moment and it only added fuel to the fire!
In the heat of the moment I had a knee-jerk reaction!

In my very, very LOUDEST voice, I yelled at my ducks,
“THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, YOU DUCKS ARE A DIME A DOZEN!”
“IF YOU DUCKS DON’T GET IN A ROW, I WILL EAT YOU ALL UP AND YOU’LL BE FINGER LICKIN’ GOOD!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”

Now I don’t speak Duck…

But…

I was starting to think I had bitten off more than I could chew.
My yelling and screaming just wasn’t going to cut the mustard.
I was acting like a loose cannon.
And my ducks just weren’t responding to being chewed out.

So I went back to the drawing board.
I counted from 1 to ten to calm myself down.
Then, in a very soft, polite voice, I said to my ducks,
“Okay Ducks, let’s cut to the chase, why won’t you get in a row?

My ducks looked back at me and in their own very soft, polite voices,
They said to me “Quack, Quack, Quackity, Quack.”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I’ll go out on a limb and admit I finally knew what they were saying.

So, in my very softest, most polite voice, I said to my ducks, “will you ducks PLEASE get in a row”
And in their very softest, most polite voices, they said to me “Quack, Quack, Quackity, Quack.”
Now I don’t speak Duck..
But I think I had hit the nail on the head.

Because in a New York minute my ducks lined up as straight as an arrow.

And to make a long story short…

That is how I got my Ducks in a row.

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Rhyme Tyme

Let me preface this post by saying…

This is not one of my traditional posts. You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will not be overly entertained. This is just a little self promotion, perhaps a little self reflection, perhaps a little request for input.  I realized today as I was adding my latest rhyming poem, “Things on me are changing…” to my page “Rhyme Tyme” that I now have 18 poems on this page. As I am close to reaching my 200th post, that’s roughly 10% of my posts that have been rhyming stories, which is either really cool… or which means I have a serious mental illness.

Anyhow, I’ve never really added them up, I just add the links as they are published and hope that some naive reader happens by and hits the page and reads some of them.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to happen very often. Today, I added them up and was frankly kind of impressed with my little self!

During my recent six-week hiatus from blogging, (which I was happy to discover that many of you noticed) I have to admit to going through one of those blog-polar spells, where on a daily basis I wondered what the point of this whole writing gig is and why I spend so much time on it. It happens every once in a while, as I suspect it happens to all of us. As usual, something clicks and the ideas and the motivation come roaring back and the posts start flowing again.

My motivation?

I think about this a lot and although it’s a complex mixture of ingredients that get me to the keyboard, for the most part, it’s a need to entertain, to write something that has an impact on someone, that makes people laugh or smile or cry or think. The interaction, the comments, the “likes” the subscriptions, the tweets… that’s the reward and just like when we get a paycheck, or a thank you, or a pat on the back… it makes us feel good and keeps us going.

But there’s also, in the back of all of our minds, that idea, that maybe… just maybe… we can write something good enough to be noticed on a larger scale.

I have always felt if there was anything remotely marketable from my blog, out in the real world, it would be some of the rhyming stories I have written, either individually or as a group. Some are these are personal, some are fictional, some are influenced by stuff that happens in my life.  Some are legitimately kid’s stories, some I would classify more as “kids stories for adults!” As these poems will no doubt continue to grow in numbers, I wonder sometimes if I should do something with them.

What? I don’t know. Sometimes I consider consolidating them all onto a separate site geared specifically towards rhyming stories, but the thought of building and maintaining a second website is horribly overwhelming to me. On the other hand, I do feel badly that, for the most part, they will continue to be housed here on Brown Road Chronicles only to rot away like a field of dead zombies during a zombie apocalypse!

So… if you have a few minutes today and want to  read some fun rhyming stories, please check them out. If you are a parent, share them with your kids… or share them with your dog… or your turtle… or whatever.  If you don’t want to, that’s okay, I won’t be offended, I’ll just hold a grudge  on you for the rest of my life.

Kidding…

A few favorites of mine:

From One to Ten

Mr. Smither was in a Dither

When Goats Eat Remotes

The Snow Globe

The Tale of Slobenia Isle

Roadkill Stew

Or click on the Rhyme Tyme link and you can see all of them.

Have fun… and of course… THANKS, as always, to all of you that read this blog on a regular basis!

 

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Mr. Smither (the audio version)

The original post here if you want to read along!

*Music from The Banjo Barons, The Good Music Record Company, 1986.

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One Less Moose

A Counting Story…

I was driving down a Busy Road.
And ONE big Moose got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Moose alive today!

I was driving down the Interstate.
And TWO large Deer got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TWO less Deer alive today!

I was driving down a Thoroughfare.
And THREE fat Geese got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s THREE less Geese alive today!

I was driving down a Boulevard.
And FOUR Opossum got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FOUR less Opossum alive today!

I was driving down an Avenue.
And FIVE small Frogs got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FIVE less Frogs alive today!

I was driving down a City Street.
And SIX Pigeons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SIX less Pigeons alive today!

I was driving down a Two-Track Trail.
And SEVEN Turtles got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SEVEN less Turtles alive today!

I was driving down a Quiet Lane.
And EIGHT Raccoons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s EIGHT less Raccoons alive today!

I was driving down a Country Road.
And NINE Turkeys got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s NINE less Turkeys alive today!

I was driving down a Rural Route.
And TEN Coyotes got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TEN less Coyotes alive today!

I was driving to the Body Shop…

And ONE Moose… and TWO Deer… and THREE Geese… and FOUR Opossum… and FIVE Frogs… and SIX Pigeons… and SEVEN Turtles… and EIGHT Raccoons… and NINE Turkeys… and TEN Coyotes… got in my way!

Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Truck alive today!

***Not a true story!***

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