Tag Archives: childrens

That Most Gigantic, Elephantic, Three Eyed Wildebeest

An acceptance story…

I went into the shelter, to find myself a pet.
I couldn’t wait to find out which companion I would get.
Wand’ring ‘round from cage to cage, I checked out every guest.
Discretion was important, to find which pet was best.

The options, there were many, with cages far and wide.
The selection was so varied, I couldn’t quite decide.
So many shapes and colors, of each and every size.
In every cage I’d look inside and find a new surprise.

I knew among the choices, though, the pet I wanted least.
That Most Gigantic, Elephantic, Three Eyed Wildebeest.
His spot was in the corner, away from all the rest.
He hardly fit inside his cage, he looked a little stressed.

I quickly walked right by and though I barely gave a look.
He wagged his big long tail so much his metal cage, it shook!
And as I passed, without so much as looking in his eyes.
I knew he felt deflated from his whimper’s and his sigh’s.

But he really wasn’t right quite the pet I wanted, strictly speaking.
That Wildebeest was not the sort of pet that I was seeking.
So I continued searching, looking for that perfect friend.
And pretty soon I’d made it almost to the very end!

A worker came and asked me, “may I help with your selection?”
“The one there in the corner will provide you much affection!”
“I know he’s sort of different from the pet you had expected.”
“He’s been here many years though and he’s never been selected.”

I threw out some excuses like “I just don’t have the room.”
“I just don’t have the money for the food he will consume.”
But that worker wouldn’t hear it, excuses weren’t an option.
This day he had a lofty goal, a Wildebeest adoption!

He grabbed my arm and asked me “would you take another peek?”
“That Wildebeest would be the kind of pet that’s most unique!”
“I think if you look closer you might see a different light.”
Begrudgingly I followed, with no argument or fight.

We stood there for a moment, gently staring at this creature.
The three big eyes a-top his head, his most alarming feature.
His mouth it dripped with drool and spit, his fur was matted slightly.
And this time, so his hopes weren’t dashed, his tail just fluttered lightly.

He straightened up to look his best just like he’d done before.
But this time something told him he should try a little more.
He smiled a smile, the best he could, his crooked teeth were showing.
And in his eyes, all three of them, I saw some hope was glowing.

I knew right then, the two of us, had made a warm connection.
I took a few steps backwards for some personal reflection.
Then I turned back to the worker and with calmness in my voice.
I said to him “you’ve made your point, I’ve finally made my choice!”

So now I’m the proud owner of the pet I wanted least.
That Most Gigantic, Elephantic, Three Eyed Wildebeest.
And the lesson that I’ve learned is that there’s so much to discover.
If you look at life with open eyes…

… and never… ever… ever… judge a Wildebeest by its cover!

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One Less Moose

A Counting Story…

I was driving down a Busy Road.
And ONE big Moose got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Moose alive today!

I was driving down the Interstate.
And TWO large Deer got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TWO less Deer alive today!

I was driving down a Thoroughfare.
And THREE fat Geese got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s THREE less Geese alive today!

I was driving down a Boulevard.
And FOUR Opossum got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FOUR less Opossum alive today!

I was driving down an Avenue.
And FIVE small Frogs got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FIVE less Frogs alive today!

I was driving down a City Street.
And SIX Pigeons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SIX less Pigeons alive today!

I was driving down a Two-Track Trail.
And SEVEN Turtles got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SEVEN less Turtles alive today!

I was driving down a Quiet Lane.
And EIGHT Raccoons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s EIGHT less Raccoons alive today!

I was driving down a Country Road.
And NINE Turkeys got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s NINE less Turkeys alive today!

I was driving down a Rural Route.
And TEN Coyotes got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TEN less Coyotes alive today!

I was driving to the Body Shop…

And ONE Moose… and TWO Deer… and THREE Geese… and FOUR Opossum… and FIVE Frogs… and SIX Pigeons… and SEVEN Turtles… and EIGHT Raccoons… and NINE Turkeys… and TEN Coyotes… got in my way!

Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Truck alive today!

***Not a true story!***

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Roadkill Stew

This is the tale of Billy O’Hill.
Who lived all his life in the town of Saville.
In a lil ‘ol cabin, he’d made his abode.
At the end of the dirtiest, dirty, dirt road.

Now Billy O’Hill had been married a time.
To a girl named Pearl, a lady sublime.
But Pearl’d got sick, dun gone up to heaven.
Ten long years ago, or maybe eleven.

So he kept to hisself, stayed mostly alone.
‘Cept for his pooch who he called Al Capone.
And a few of his friends that he’d see now’n then.
Down at the coffee shop now’n again.

The Hill Top Cafe is what it been named.
Cornbread and Johnny Cakes what they was famed.
They’d sit there fer hours not talkin’ ‘bout much.
‘Cept for some gossip and weather and such.

And on his way yonder he’d pass by the house.
Of the purtiest lady, as cute as a mouse.
She’d sit on her porch, a-sippin’ her tea.
In the shade of a giant magnolia tree.

See Billy O’Hill had a crush on this lady.
A purty ol’ girl named Myrtle O’Grady.
She lived in a house in the center of town.
Where them wealthy folks lived, the rich and renown.

But he never could git up the nerve to suggest,
“Wouldya meet me for coffee, I’d surely be blessed?”
‘Cuz what would a girl so swanky and chic,
See in a guy “from the hills”, so to speak?

So Billy would wave as he briskly walked by.
He wouldn’t say nuthin’, cuz he was right shy.
When Myrtle would smile her purtiest smile.
Billy’d be floatin’ on air for awhile.

Then one day he asked for some friendly advice.
From his closest of friends, named Earl Versluice.
‘Cuz everyone privy knew Earl could charm.
Like a rooster that woos all them hens on a farm.

Now Earl had fetchin’ advice to impart.
“The stomach’s the way to a good woman’s heart!”
“Let’s throw a party like we used to do.”
“Invite all our friends, we’ll serve roadkill stew.”

“Every-un brings somethin’ fresh that they’ve found.”
“From the side of the road, just plain dead on the ground.”
“Squirrel or coon or rabbit or beaver.”
“We’ll slice ‘em all up with a very large cleaver!”

“We’ll mix in some collards and veggies and rice.”
“Add in some ‘shine to give it some spice.”
“We’ll invite Ms. O’Grady to join us that day.”
“Then you can dun meet her, whatdaya say?”

So Billy went home, started makin’ a list.
Of who’d be invited and who could be missed.
At the end of the list he penned really neat.
“Myrtle O’Grady”, the list was complete.

He wrote out the invites, said R.S.V.P.
We’re throwin’ a party on Sunday ‘bout three.
We’ll serve roadkill stew and plenty-a ‘shine.
I’ll break outta jug of my dandelion wine.

Then he mailed ‘em all out and dun prayed for the best.
Would Myrtle O’Grady show up for this fest?
When the day dun arrived, his friends all came through.
They’d all brung some roadkill to add to the stew.

Ms. Blossom brung possum…

June brung raccoon…

Mr. Monk brung a skunk…

Mr. Babbitt brung rabbit…

Jake brung some snake…

Mr. Weaver brung Beaver…

And his best friend Earl? Well, Earl, he dun brung lots of Squirrel…

Then Myrtle arrived and the place got real quiet.
What had she brung, would anyone try it?
Every’un watched as she walked through the door.
She carried a bag from a fancy clothes store!

She handed that bag to Billy O’Hill.
Who opened ‘er up with the most gracious skill.
And Billy looked in and dun said with a grin.
I reckon Ms. Myrtle O’Grady fits in!

‘Cuz Myrtle…

Well… Myrtle… she brung Turtle.

In fact… she dun brung the freshest, most purtiest turtle, bigger’n any of ’em had ever seen!

So they cooked up the stew ‘n that party was grand!
And Billy’n Myrtle hit it off just as planned.
And the rest be dun history, them guests they all knew.
That Billy and Myrtle fell in love over stew!

Listen to the Audio Version!

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