My New Year’s Resolution


My New Years Resolution is to no longer try to be a morning person.

It’s not that I haven’t given it the old college try… well, not actually while in college… but I have as an adult.

Nor is it that I don’t particularly like morning people. It’s just that they are way too morning-y for me and they are always doing things in the morning… like talking to me.

My wife is a morning person and I really like her. Except she’s always trying to talk to me early in the morning when we’re both awake. It will be 6:00 am and I’ll be desperately tightening down the tourniquet on my arm for the coffee drip, and she’ll expect me to be able to process difficult and complicated questions like “do you think we should remortgage the house to help pay for college next year, especially since interest rates are hovering in the low single digits?” or “Good morning, how are you?”

I’m not sure she chooses to be a morning person, she just has to get up really early, but somehow once she’s up, she becomes a morning person. There’s probably some kind of complicated common-core math formula that explains how morning people end up marrying non-morning people.

Me, on the other hand, I’ve been trying to be a morning person ever since I can remember having to get up early to the sound of a blaring alarm clock. I don’t typically wake up before about 8:00 am when I let natural sleep take its course. But most weekdays I try to get up between around 6:00-6:30 am. So, if my common core math is right, that’s about two and seven-twelfths to three and four-fifths hours of totally unnatural awake time.

But there’s something glamorous and romantic about the idea of being a morning person, effortlessly getting up at the crack of dawn to work out, or sipping coffee in quiet solitude while you blog or catch up on emails or meditate while the rest of the lowly, unproductive world slumbers away.

Plus, there’s all those articles that pop-up into our Facebook feeds proclaiming how very successful people get up early and get lots accomplished before the sun comes up. People like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and even Ben Franklin and probably lots of successful authors… all morning people.

6:00 am: June 15, 1752

Ben Franklin (to his wife): “Good morning, how are you? Boy, you look electric this morning!”

Deborah Read Franklin: “Ugh, go fly a kite!”

For years, I’ve had it in my mind that someday I would evolve naturally into a morning person. My mother, when she was alive, was a morning person. She’d get up at crazy hours… mostly because she couldn’t sleep… and accomplish all kinds of stuff with a great attitude and a big bright smile on her face. I probably shouldn’t hope for an insomnia problem, but I always envied that ability in her and figured maybe there would be some kind of genetic factor that would eventually kick in.

But alas, at 48 years old, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s likely just not going to happen.

So, starting in 2016 I will no longer try to be a morning person.

My only concern is, I’m not really a late night person either. I like to be in bed around 10:00 pm. I guess I’m more of a middle of the day person, that’s when I tend to be most productive. But that’s okay because if my common-core math is right that adds up to just about the perfect amount of medically recommended sleep.

And we all know how important getting nine and seven-sixths hours of sleep is each night.

How about you? Morning, noon or night?


Filed under humor, Uncategorized, writing

31 responses to “My New Year’s Resolution

  1. I’m a night owl. Most productive in early evening.
    My favorite time of day is morning. Because of the rolling over and going back to sleep. *grin*

  2. I read this last night and decided I’d reply in the morning, when I was fully awake. I prefer the morning, though I don’t like to share the time. I prefer working alone any interaction messes it up. But some days, it is difficult to crawl out of bed! Have a wonderful day.

  3. I guess if I had to pick one it’d be the middle of the day person. I have never been a morning person. My son and my husband both get up raring to go at 5:30! What the hell is wrong with them?! I used to be a night owl in my youth. I’d work the late shift, get up around noon. I LOVED it. I still will stay up late most nights (late to me is 10:30) because the house is quiet and I can catch up on TV. Morning person I will never be. No amount of coffee will cure me.

    • Us middle of the day folks need to stick together. I think it just means we’re getting old, can’t get up early OR stay up late! My son is tough to get up but once he’s awake becomes his usual chatterbox! I think I’ve actually said to him before something to the effect of “dude don’t you know I hate talking to people in the morning!”

  4. Al

    There’s a cure. Get dogs. They’re a guilt trip with fur at 6:00am!

  5. I just don’t like changing states: when I’m awake, I want to stay awake; when I’m asleep I want to stay asleep. Wow – I just realized I’m a perpetual five-year-old.

  6. I’ve been all of the above, depending on what shift I was working when I worked outside the home (I’ve done lots of different shifts and types of shifts because of working on ships), and also depending on my kid (who didn’t really sleep well until he was almost 10: he’s just turned 13). Basically, I’ve developed the talent to be able to get my body up and out of bed and to function, even when my brain is still asleep. I might do it for hours until either my brain decides to wake up or it’s finally bedtime again.

    • Interestingly I’ve never really been a night person either. Even as a college student I used to get to bed pretty early. None of those late night cram sessions. But you’re right, a lot depends on your current lifestyle and schedule.

  7. This is very funny! I am NOT a morning person at all but when I do wake up early, I bombard my husband with questions. I was laughing so hard at this because just the other day he asked if I could save the questions for the afternoons. He is a morning person but does not like to talk, he just likes to do his own thing. We have a joke now that I make sure it’s at least noon before asking him a question. 🙂

  8. First, I laughed at the coffee tourniquet and the ekectric/kite Franklin dialogue.
    Next, I am meant to be a night person. I’m my most creative in the middle of the night. But I can’t stay awake, with lupus. Lately, I’ve been sleeping the whole afternoon away and then I’m up at night, like tonight, but then my whole schedule goes wonky.

    Gonna wonk to bed now.

    • Can’t imagine dealing with a serious health issue. So far I’ve been lucky I guess. But you live with what you get and you seem to make it work. Had to get up early today… ugh!

      • I never see my diseases in that light–“serious”. I’m not blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, or disfigured (beyond my father’s nose, and even that lets me hold up the heaviest glasses, and hire out to perfumeries–and lead EVERY wolf pack I’ve ever met.)

        As for your occasional early rising, bleary-boned you may feel, but on the earliest days–the 4:30 or 5:00am ungoshly ones–don’t you notice how lovely the world is–how still and fresh–how the light looks–and wish, for that quiet, cleaner half-hour or so, that you were an early person, rather than a night owl?

  9. You could try being a mourning person. That might come more naturally.

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  11. I’m most creative at night. I get my best ideas at night. But I’m most motivated to write in the morning. For years I’ve gone back and forth on wanting to be a morning person despite all evidence I’m meant to be an night person. I’m not sure it’s something we can change.

  12. I used to be a morning person and have lived with one for 28 years, but not anymore. It’s not that I don’t wake up early, but it takes a while for my brain to start firing. I’ve trained Danny not to ask me important questions either.

    In college I was the last to bed and the first awake. I drove my roommates nuts with my energy level. I don’t remember when it changed. Maybe after the second child and I didn’t get any sleep.

    Creatively, it changes all the time. I’m more likely to write blog posts mid morning, but hit my stride in the afternoon and evening.

  13. A lot of those morning people you mentioned might be “short sleepers,” or part of the (lucky) 5% of the population that thrives on 4 or less hours of sleep per night. Many famous thinkers, scientists, writers, politicians and artists have been short sleepers — Martha Stewart, President Obama, Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Edison, just to name a few! They might have a genetic mutation in their DEC2 gene, which means they need less sleep than us normals. Everybody has a different body clock and different sleep needs. It is frustrating when your mind wants something different than what your body wants. I’ve always wanted to be a morning person, but when I wake up early, I feel lousy, headachy and sick to my stomach almost all day. Through tracking for several months on Fitbit, I’ve recently learned that I really need about 7.2 hours of sleep to really thrive (my perfect sleep time is from about 12:30 to 8 AM). I’m lucky that I am able to naturally wake up each morning. A large chunk of the population is operating on a massive sleep deficit, which affects your health, not to mention cognitive abilities — a huge no-no for a writer. All of this is to say: always listen to your body (if you can, that is). It knows what it wants! 🙂

    • Interesting! I didn’t know there was such people that don’t much sleep. I mean I knew there are people that don’t GET much sleep but figured they are just sleep deprived as you suggest. I’ve learned more and more to listen to my body whether it be sleepinesss, aches and pains or whatever… Thanks for stopping by!

  14. I’m good somewhere between 1 and 2 p.m. I’m a light sleeper (that’s why Hubby & I are “sleep divorced” a.k.a. separate bedrooms) so what sleep I get isn’t quality. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Happy Middle of the Day to you!

  15. I am a morning person, and my husband is NOT. When I was working, he got up to take of kids, get them ready for school. Now, he will sleep until he has to drive them to school. Hello, it’s 8:00 on a week day. Get up. I think “sleeping in” is 7:00 on a week day. There are things to be done. 7-8 can be coffee, breakfast, make bed, take dog for potty time and then take kids to school. Then 8:30, you’re ready to accomplish work.

    He is a nigh owl. I’m not – I will fall asleep at 10:00. Then wake for a bit (then ask what happened on a show) and go right back to sleep. I can fall asleep in like 5 seconds. My husband is stumped. (How do you do that?) He doesn’t go to sleep until midnight.

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