An unfortunate dynamic of blogging is that sometimes we have to break-up with another blogger with whom we have developed a blogging relationship. I’ve broken up with several bloggers in the last few years and many more have broken up with me. The usual technique that bloggers employ is the Vanish Method – just stop reading, stop leaving comments on posts and stop clicking the “like” button. In extreme cases, the blogger might even spend three to four hours digging through their WordPress Dashboard trying to actually figure out how to un-follow a blogger that they are no longer interested in following. But this method is very boorish and inconsiderate and leaves the “victim” of the break-up sadly wondering where their friend has gone and if it was something that they wrote that might have caused this animosity in the relationship.
So, with that in mind, here’s ten sensitive break-up lines you can use to end your relationship with another fellow blogger without leaving him or her hanging in limbo…
10. Sorry… but the excessively large number of subscribers you have is making me feel inadequate.
9. Sorry… it’s really been so great getting to know you and learning about your failed relationships but I think I want to focus on some other blogs for a while.
8. Sorry… but the frequency of your writing is making me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I really love that I’m getting three to four posts a day from you but I just can’t keep up with that.
7. Sorry… I still love your blog. I really do! It’s really great, even the soy and tofu recipes and the posts about your kid’s poopy pants. I just really need some time to focus on my own writing right now.
6. Sorry… I guess I just moved too fast when I followed you when you were Freshly Pressed. At the time I knew it would be the start of a wonderful blog relationship. But then you didn’t follow me back and I really don’t feel like this is a two-way relationship.
5. Sorry… but your posts just aren’t keeping me satisfied. It’s not that they’re too short or even too long. They’re really the perfect length. I just find myself fantasizing about other blogger’s posts while I’m reading your posts.
4. Sorry… really, it’s not your blog’s fault, it’s my “WordPress Reader’s” fault. It’s very full and it just needs some personal space.
3. Sorry… but I think you love my blog more than I love your blog and I don’t want to hurt you by not leaving comments on your posts.
2. Sorry… I think we’d be better off just being Facebook friends.
1. Sorry… I “like” your posts… I just don’t “like like” your posts.
The Brown Road Chronicles 
I like, like this blog. To be so brave.
Thanks… I like like your comment!
You are hilarious. Whatever is going on, keep doing it. Glad you’re back, Cowboy. And I’m sorry about #8. I swear, I’m back to once a week. This week was just weird.
Please don’t dump me.
Omigawd. Are you dumping me? 😉
Dumping you?? No, you’re one of my top 5 readers! Gotta hang on to the limited people that actually enjoy hanging around here.
Classic! I’m all about the avoidance tactic!
Most are… I’ve been there many times too.
I haven’t read any blogs in a while (I barely read my own posts 2x a week). This made me laugh. Well, it was that or the wine in my glass… 😉
Wine always helps! 🙂
I have had other bloggers break up with me. Um… do you have any tissues? I just tell myself they are jealous of my ass, which looks better on my blog and that makes me feel a lot better. You know. Before I eat some carbs.
LOL, that’s a good way to handle it!
Oh no! I know in my case I read it in due time… Don’t always have the time to comment… I only “like” the posts that I really like… I do get to reading it while waiting for doctors, my children, or on lunch breaks etc… But some days are really busy. Aw! Wonder the line u will use with me 😦
Don’t worry, I’m not much of a breaker-upper. 🙂
Well, I am just beginning to read your blog, so I’ll give it some time yet. We’ll just see how it goes. Very creative post!
Well I hope you find enough interesting and humorous stuff to stick around, but if you do decide to break up with me, just let me know gently, okay?
Love this. Not like. Love. Can I use some of these with my own blog? I mean because I had just stopped writing and I’ve been feeling bad about It. Like, I should have had at least a “we new some space” chat with it, ya know? I think it may think we’re just on a break and that’s just unfair. Thank you for waking me up to my insensitivity. Now…off to try to remember my username….
I was starting to think you had broken up with me and that we were “just going to be Facebook friends”. Welcome back! 🙂 How you handle your relationship with your own blog… hmmm… that’s another whole complicated conversation! I went close to six weeks without posting anything until yesterday. Now the groove is back!
Never! never shall I break up with you. My computer, maybe….Not you.
Awwwwww…. 🙂
Oh my God, this is hilarious! Hahaha! As you know, I just wrote about following and after reading the responses, unfollowed a bunch of inactive blogs or bloggers who never stopped by. So funny….
Yes, that was a good post. You’re still following way more than me. But I just can’t keep up with more than the 30-40 I’m subscribed to and I don’t want to, you know, lead anybody on!
Hahahaha…awesome 🙂
Thanks Princess… you’re one of my first bogging buds!!
Hilarious! Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh:-)
You’re welcome… have a great day!!
This is hysterical 🙂 I totally thought you were going to give 10 serious things to say haha. Well done 🙂
Yeah… ummm… Not much is serious around here!
I’m a bad boy blog reader. I won’t comment or like for weeks and then turn up after a month with a lovely bunch of likes, comments and G+ ticks. Sorry I like my freedom, but you know I like you. I’ve just got to be me, that’s all. Later…
I’m similar Richard. If I’m not WRITING, chances are I’m not READING either. The last six weeks when I didn’t post anything I wasn’t doing much “liking” either.
I most definitely “like like” this post. I used to blog three times a week, but now I’m down to once a week because I needed space. I didn’t want to start suffocating people.
Darla, since as you know we have written a very similar number of posts, both in the 200 range, although you are slightly ahead, you are obviously operating on a perfect blogging schedule. 🙂
thanks, need a good laugh and diversion to begin my day… have a great one, maybe we;ll get spring soon!
Thanks Clay.. It snowed here a little this morning, not much at all but still snow… Ugh!!!!!!!
In addition to a Like button, WordPress needs a “Meh” button.
From the comments I see on various social media platforms, sounds like most people would like access to some kind of a “dislike” button… Or meh as you call it. Sounds good in theory, but not sure I’d be happy the first time someone clicked it on one of my posts. Hmmmm…
I’m pretty happy that no one has employed one of your excellent lines on me — I’ll settle for them just not liking and/or commenting — anything more would be too much of a blow to my already fragile self-esteem.
Great post. (I’m glad I’m following you!)
It would be tough… Imagine if someone really used one of these lines? YIKES!
LOL! So glad you’re back. I was missing you! 🙂
Glad to be back. Even more so, it’s nice that people notice when I am MIA.
LOL I was up front, I’m using you for your humor. My first comment spelled it out, remember? Haha If I can figure out how to reblog, I must share!
Can’t help with reblogging, I don’t know how to do that either.
This is such a useful post! I hadn’t begun to figure out how to handle this problem. Break-ups of any kind are hard to conclude with enough lightness. Now I can proceed, and possibly even do it with charm.
Glad I could help Mikey. That’s what I’m all about, providing useful content. 🙂
Funny.
It’s number 5, isn’t it? Just say it. It’s number 5. Go on…no, wait. . . ok, ok. . . is it number 5?
(I’m not around much these days, but when I am, I always make sure to check out BRC. Honest engine.)
You are sounding a little nerved up there Hippie! I appreciate you stopping by whenever you’re available. 🙂
Very clever, Steve. Anyone who doesn’t like this post, or doesn’t comment on this post has, but virture of their absence, broken up with you. That gives you every right to not like or read their posts, because they stopped reading and liking you first. You truly are the masterbreaker!
By the way, I am sorry I am so late in reading this post, but the dog got onto my computer and ate your post – honest.
I didn’t know you had a virtual dog!
LOL. Need I say more? Well, except maybe… believe it or not, I’ve actually been poking this site at least once a week for the last… what was it – 6 weeks? I’m used to my own long absences from writing – not yours. Does that mean I miss you when you’re not around?
Mind if I try to re-blog this? Always wanted to try that feature. 😉
Hi Marbles, as I said above its nice to know that people notice when I’m not writing. I always kind of wonder about that. The past six weeks was easily my longest absence. I remember being gone for a month once before, then it all came roaring back. It’s weird, but when I have nothing to write I have nothing to write. I’ve never really been a believer in just writing for the sake of writing, I have to have a good idea. Anyway, if you can figure out how to reblog this go for it! I’m glad you’ve been back at it as well. 🙂
Thanks, Steve. It’s nice getting back to creative thinking and doing instead of having no time for the fun stuff. 😀
Haha, if it wasn’t for vanished followers I almost wouldn’t have any!
Sometimes I feel the same way!
Reblogged this on clouded marbles and commented:
Friend Steve over at The Brown Road Chronicles wrote a very sensitive post about breaking other bloggers’ hearts. I just had to share it here at my place too!
Even if I don’t get to you when you actually post sometimes, I keep the links and go back and read them. I LOVE your blog and hope you won’t break up with me! Like you need this, but I participate in the A To Z Blogging Challenge that happens every year in April and think you’d enjoy it too. http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/ if you want to give it a gander…
Honestly I have a very limited group of people that I interact with on a regular basis, you being one of those. I have no plans on breaking up with any of those folks! I’ll take a peek at the A to Z challenge, but I’ll be honest I’ve never been much of a prompt writer. Sometimes seems to forced to me.
Love, love this! I’m seeing a book on this topic in your future followed by the morning talk show circuit. At the very least a blogging conference presentation. Good stuff!
You have more confidence in me… than me. Perhaps I will be the next Dr. Phil?!? 🙂
I love it! I’m still reading, just not always commenting because most of the time I’m reading off my phone and it’s way to complicated to access WordPress on my phone.
I agree! I read on my phone sometimes too, but rarely comment via phone. For some reason the comment field on my phone doesn’t have a “return” function so what I type just keeps going off the screen, then I’m constantly scrolling through trying to figure out if there are any typos. Easier to just wait until I’m back on the laptop!
I clicked the “like” button twice, but it won’t let me “like like” this post
… but it’s the thought that counts … unless it’s a math test where you have to show your work.
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By finding your gem of a blog, you’ve significantly brightened my life. Thanks. 🙂
Thanks! That’s very kind! Lots of fun (and funny) stuff around here. 🙂
People LEAVE? Oh, dear. (weeping inconsolably)