In a Pickle

Have you ever tried to grab,
A pickle from a jar?
Its swimming in the juice.
Down very, very far.

First you try your hands.
Five finger grabbers each.
Your hand goes in the jar.
But that pickle’s out of reach!

The pickle glares back at you.
On it’s face, a smirk!
You come to the conclusion.
Your hands aren’t going to work.

You go into the drawer.
That holds the silverware.
You glance back towards the jar.
And see that pickle glare.

You grab yourself a fork.
The longest you can find.
You have a plan in place.
You’ll sneak up from behind.

You reach into the jar.
That pickle’s oh so near.
You jab down with that fork.
As if you had a spear.

But that pickle has a plan.
It gives your fork the slip.
It dodges and it weaves.
You try to keep your grip.

You jab down with that fork again.
You’ve got something to prove.
You just can’t seem to catch it.
That pickle’s on the move!

Then finally you connect.
You spear it with the tines.
You start to lift that pickle,
From deep in its confines.

But when you’re just about to,
Get that pickle from the jar.
Something awful happens
Something so bizarre!

Your progress gets impeded.
A challenging impasse.
That pickle is too long.
It catches on the glass!

It falls off of the fork.
And dives back towards the juice.
Once again that pickle,
Is free and on the loose.

You hear that pickle laugh.
It’s averted your attack.
You close the pickle jar.
And decide to put it back.

You know you’ve been defeated.
You gave it your best shot.
Instead you eat an Apple.
‘Cause they don’t fight a lot!

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “In a Pickle

  1. Ain’t that just like life?

  2. OMG! LOL! Love it! And sooooo true!

  3. You make me laugh every time! Thanks for that. I prefer someone else to deal with my pickles and serve them to me on a plate or wrapped in white paper next to a juicy burger! Just noticed your excellent Unofficial Copyright Notice. That made me laugh too.

    • Thanks! Restaurant pickles are usually the best kind anyway! That copyright notice was one of the first funny things I wrote. Interestingly, the other day I contemplated changing it as its been up there so long. But now I find there are people that still like it… so it stays!

  4. Very well said. The only time I eat pickles is when they come sliced alongside my deli sandwich. At my age I’m happy to pay some someone else to do the catching.

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