Ducks in a Row

An Idiom Story…

ducks in a row

Credit: Forbes.com

One day I decided I should get my ducks in a row.
I thought that getting them in a row would be a drop in the bucket.
But this particular morning my ducks had a chip on their shoulder.
We were already starting the day off on the wrong foot.

So in a LOUD voice, I yelled at my ducks, “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when pigs fly!”

So in a LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks, “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when the cows come home!”

So in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when Hell freezes over!”

So in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row over our dead bodies!”

So, in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “come Hell or high water, we are not going to get in a row!”

I was madder than a mad hatter and the blood in my veins was starting to boil!
I was thrashing around like a chicken with its head cut off!
It was not my finest moment and it only added fuel to the fire!
In the heat of the moment I had a knee-jerk reaction!

In my very, very LOUDEST voice, I yelled at my ducks,
“THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, YOU DUCKS ARE A DIME A DOZEN!”
“IF YOU DUCKS DON’T GET IN A ROW, I WILL EAT YOU ALL UP AND YOU’LL BE FINGER LICKIN’ GOOD!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”

Now I don’t speak Duck…

But…

I was starting to think I had bitten off more than I could chew.
My yelling and screaming just wasn’t going to cut the mustard.
I was acting like a loose cannon.
And my ducks just weren’t responding to being chewed out.

So I went back to the drawing board.
I counted from 1 to ten to calm myself down.
Then, in a very soft, polite voice, I said to my ducks,
“Okay Ducks, let’s cut to the chase, why won’t you get in a row?

My ducks looked back at me and in their own very soft, polite voices,
They said to me “Quack, Quack, Quackity, Quack.”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I’ll go out on a limb and admit I finally knew what they were saying.

So, in my very softest, most polite voice, I said to my ducks, “will you ducks PLEASE get in a row”
And in their very softest, most polite voices, they said to me “Quack, Quack, Quackity, Quack.”
Now I don’t speak Duck..
But I think I had hit the nail on the head.

Because in a New York minute my ducks lined up as straight as an arrow.

And to make a long story short…

That is how I got my Ducks in a row.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Ducks in a Row

  1. That’s ducks for you…. now penguins are altogether different; you yell one time at penguins to get in a row and they all line up, no please needed; penguins have low self esteem and you can order them about all day, not that I’m saying you shouldn’t say please to penguins, because you can, but if you do they get all emotional and clingy after that and no-one likes a clingy penguin.

  2. So when is your stuff going to get published?

  3. Whatever about your ducks, you certainly know how to line up all your clichés in a row. Touché!

  4. Pingback: Ducks in a Row (the song) | The Brown Road Chronicles

  5. So that makes you a duck whisperer right??? Sweet….

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