Ducks in a Row

An Idiom Story…

One day I decided I should get my ducks in a row.
I thought that getting them in a row would be a drop in the bucket.
But this particular morning my ducks had a chip on their shoulder.
We were already starting the day off on the wrong foot.

So in a LOUD voice, I yelled at my ducks, “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when pigs fly!”

So in a LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks, “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when the cows come home!”

So in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row when Hell freezes over!”

So in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “we’ll get in a row over our dead bodies!”

So, in an even LOUDER voice, I yelled at my ducks “YOU DUCKS GET IN A ROW!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”
Now I don’t speak Duck…
But I think they said “come Hell or high water, we are not going to get in a row!”

I was madder than a mad hatter and the blood in my veins was starting to boil!
I was thrashing around like a chicken with its head cut off!
It was not my finest moment and it only added fuel to the fire!
In the heat of the moment I had a knee-jerk reaction!

In my very, very LOUDEST voice, I yelled at my ducks,
“THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, YOU DUCKS ARE A DIME A DOZEN!”
“IF YOU DUCKS DON’T GET IN A ROW, I WILL EAT YOU ALL UP AND YOU’LL BE FINGER LICKIN’ GOOD!”
My ducks yelled back at me, “QUACK, QUACK, QUACKITY, QUACK!”

Now I don’t speak Duck…

But…

I was starting to think I had bitten off more than I could chew.
My yelling and screaming just wasn’t going to cut the mustard.
I was acting like a loose cannon.
And my ducks just weren’t responding to being chewed out.

So I went back to the drawing board.
I counted from 1 to ten to calm myself down.
Then, in a very soft, polite voice, I said to my ducks,
“Okay Ducks, let’s cut to the chase, why won’t you get in a row?

My ducks looked back at me and in their own very soft, polite voices,
They said to me “Quack, Quack, Quackity, Quack.”
Now, I don’t speak Duck…
But I’ll go out on a limb and admit I finally knew what they were saying.

So, in my very softest, most polite voice, I said to my ducks, “will you ducks PLEASE get in a row”
And in their very softest, most polite voices, they said to me “Quack, Quack, Quackity, Quack.”
Now I don’t speak Duck..
But I think I had hit the nail on the head.

Because in a New York minute my ducks lined up as straight as an arrow.

And to make a long story short…

That is how I got my Ducks in a row.