Tag Archives: brown road chronicles

One Less Moose

A Counting Story…

I was driving down a Busy Road.
And ONE big Moose got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Moose alive today!

I was driving down the Interstate.
And TWO large Deer got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TWO less Deer alive today!

I was driving down a Thoroughfare.
And THREE fat Geese got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s THREE less Geese alive today!

I was driving down a Boulevard.
And FOUR Opossum got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FOUR less Opossum alive today!

I was driving down an Avenue.
And FIVE small Frogs got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s FIVE less Frogs alive today!

I was driving down a City Street.
And SIX Pigeons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SIX less Pigeons alive today!

I was driving down a Two-Track Trail.
And SEVEN Turtles got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s SEVEN less Turtles alive today!

I was driving down a Quiet Lane.
And EIGHT Raccoons got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s EIGHT less Raccoons alive today!

I was driving down a Country Road.
And NINE Turkeys got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s NINE less Turkeys alive today!

I was driving down a Rural Route.
And TEN Coyotes got in my way.
Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s TEN less Coyotes alive today!

I was driving to the Body Shop…

And ONE Moose… and TWO Deer… and THREE Geese… and FOUR Opossum… and FIVE Frogs… and SIX Pigeons… and SEVEN Turtles… and EIGHT Raccoons… and NINE Turkeys… and TEN Coyotes… got in my way!

Although I tried to brake and swerve.
There’s ONE less Truck alive today!

***Not a true story!***


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My Chinese Zodiac Sign is…

It’s all coming together now…

I discovered today that I was born in the Year of the Goat (or Sheep or Ram depending on where you look) in the Chinese Zodiac. Wow, I feel so enlightened! Clearly that is the reason that I get along so well with Naughty and Heath. Us Goats, you see, apparently are creative types, crafty and artistic. We’re dreamers and worriers, charming yet introverted, overly concerned with our appearances, romantic and sweet and caring. Okay, my wife would probably argue the “romantic” part, but damn, that’s pretty accurate.

Anyhow, I never really believed in zodiac and astrological mumbo- jumbo, but here’s a few excerpts about us goats.

From www.chinesezodiac.com

Occupying the 8th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Goat (or Sheep) symbolizes such character traits as creativity, intelligence, dependability, and calmness. Comfortable being alone to ponder the workings of their inner minds, Goats enjoy being part of a group, but prefer the sidelines rather than the center. Their nurturing personality makes Goats excellent care-givers. They’re quiet and reserved because they spend much time absorbed in their thoughts.

Home and alone is where Goats feel most comfortable. There they can express themselves artistically, whether it’s by painting, cooking or participating in whatever artistic endeavors they enjoy. Goats prefer the couch because there they can relax and explore their minds. They don’t need elaborate furnishings; only items reflecting their desire for art.

When traveling or seeking entertainment, Goats prefer groups or venues that hold many people. Goats spend money on fashions that give them a first class appearance. Although Goats enjoy spending money on the finer things in life, they are not snobbish.

This site even classified me as a Fire Goat:

Not nearly as sensitive as other Goats, Fire Goats don’t need the approval of others. Fire Goats always put themselves ahead of others. They’re social creatures who typically will have a close-knit circle of family and friends.

From http://www.chinese-astrology.co.uk/goat.html

Goat people are elegant, charming, artistic, gifted and fond of nature. People born under this sign are also the most creative. They are also very delicate, their good manners and charms always bring many admirers and friends.

Goats are insecure. They need to feel loved and protected. They are easily drawn into complex predicaments. This being, so, they usually shy from confrontation, pull back when faced with heavy decision-making and blatantly refuse to take an unpopular stand in a conflict.

Goat people are dreamers, sometimes, they are pessimistic, hesitant and over-anxious worriers! They can be lazy sometimes. If Goats have any choices, they would definitely choose to marry a wealthy person and sit back for the rest of the lives. Also, they are obsessed with their appearance. This plays an enormous part in their sense of personal stability.

Disorganized as they are, business is definitely not the strength in a Goat. Instead, the Goat will make a good craftsman or artist or writer and can confidently take up any career demanding artistic talents and creativities.

Goat people are very romantic, sensitive, sweet and darling. In relationship, they could be sometimes a little bit bossy and lazy, but with their gentle and caring nature, it will be hard to resist Goat people.

Yeah baby, I’m romantic, sensitive, sweet and darling… and hard to resist. I’m starting to like this whole Astrology gig!

“Yeah… ummm… Steve, your uhhh ‘need to be loved and protected’ is showing.”

Admittedly though, it’s not perfect, I’m definitely not that great at the whole romance part of a relationship. I’m not really insecure, although I was as a much younger person. And I am able to be organized, if only because life requires me to be.

But overall it’s pretty accurate! Now granted, these descriptions are probably written in ways that the average person reading would say, “yeah, that sorta sounds like me.”

My wife on the other hand… she’s a Monkey. Don’t tell her I said that. While reading the descriptions of the Monkey, I thought, some of that sounds right but she’s really more of a Goat than a Monkey, which is probably why we get along so well. She’s sort of ½ goat, ½ monkey, whatever that looks like. One site said this: The monkey has a good chance of becoming famous or well-known. Perhaps I need to start being a little more Monkey and a little less Goat.

So I guess I still don’t really believe in any of this stuff. Anyhow, I’m glad to discover that I am a Goat. My wife texted me from the County Fair last night and told me that one of the families is looking for a good home for two dwarf doe pygmy goats. I don’t really know what those are or if it would be a good idea to add two more to the flock.

My response to her…

“Sure go for it… would give me another year of blog material!”

How about you… what’s your Chinese Zodiac sign? Is it accurate? Are you a believer?




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Brown Road Chronicles T-Shirts

In my ongoing quest to become famous I have contracted with a very successful advertising and marketing agency to move that goal forward. They have been very busy…  first that fabulous radio commercial, now a series of t-shirts.  Sorry, these are not for sale at this time but if you want, you can vote on your favorite below! Have fun.







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My New Radio Advertisement

The State of Michigan tourism department, “Pure Michigan”, has for several years been running a highly successful and award-winning radio advertising campaign promoting all of the wonderful places that people can visit in the state. The voice-over artist is Tim Allen, of television and film fame, who was a long-time Michigan resident.

So after hearing these radio ads over and over again, I thought, what better way to get more readers than to produce a radio ad promoting my own blog, The Brown Road Chronicles.

I’ve been working very hard on this, please take a listen, it’s hosted on Sound Cloud, hope the link works. Maybe soon you’ll hear this on a radio station near you!


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