July 11, 2012
2111 McDonald’s Dr
Oak Brook, IL 60523
Dear Mr. McDonald:
It has come to our attention (The Attention) that you have been marketing (The Marketing) your McDonald’s franchises (The Franchises) as a source of healthy food (The Food), via a television commercial, using a likeness (The Likeness) of a goat named Heath (The Goat) that is owned by our client, Mr. Steve Warner (The Client), who is the author (The Author) of a blog entitled The Brown Road Chronicles (The Blog).
Our client, “The Client”, owns the Copyright, Trademark, Registration, Licenses and Rights to any and all usages of “The Likeness” of “The Goat” in any forms of media, including television, radio, internet websites, cereal boxes, Twinkie advertisements, etc. As permission was neither asked for nor granted to use “The Likeness” of “The Goat” we declare that your using “The Likeness” of “The Goat” constitutes infringement of the rights of “The Client” and “The Goat”.
“The Client” finds this infringement a despicable violation of the key principles of Copyright, Trademark, Registration, Licenses and Rights and as evidence of the infringement of the rights of “The Client” we are providing as part of this letter, the following photographic documentation:
In terms of the Copyright, Trademark, Registration, Licenses and Rights Statutes, “The Client” is entitled to an injunction against your continued infringement, as well as to recover damages from you for the loss “The Client” has suffered as a result of your infringing conduct.
In the circumstances, we demand that you immediately:
1. remove all infringing content from your TV commercials and notify us in writing that you have done so;
2. pay a licensing fee in the amount of $5,000. (Five Thousand Dollars);
3. immediately cease the use of “The Clients” copyrighted images;
4. undertake in writing to desist from using any of “The Client’s” copyrighted images in the future without prior written authority from “The Client”;
5. immediately begin supplying “The Client” with one year’s worth of free French Fries and Big Macs as well as supplying “The Goat” with one year’s worth of free Twinkies.
We trust that you will regard this letter with all due seriousness and respond accordingly. We await to hear from you by no later than the 1st of August Two Thousand and Twelve.
This is written without prejudice to our rights, all of which are hereby expressly reserved.
23 responses to “A Cease and Desist Letter to McDonald’s from my Attorneys”
You have a real live goat? That’s awesome!!!!
Two of them! 🙂
Well yes! One goat would get lonely. 🙂
Bahahhahahah..who knew goats liked twinkies?
yeah…ummm… they pretty much like anything!
I’d love to get in touch with your lawyer firm as I believe they would do a wonderful job representing myself and my cat in a suit against the Friskies Corporation. I believe that the Friskies Corporation has been using the likeness of Mo Kitty for several years. If your injunction goes thru, I feel that I would have a reasonable chance to claim compensation for Mo kitty.
Alice and Mo Kitty
I think you’d be better off with the law firm of Morris, Sylvester, Garfield and Thom. I hear they are very good in feline law!
Your evidence is indisputable – that goat is clearly a depiction of Heath. Are you sure Heath didn’t cut a secret deal with McD’s?
Hmmmm… that didn’t cross my mind. That dirty scoundrel.
Don’t be so hard on him (her?) – it’s really very clever.
He’s a he…
I think you should also sue for the derogatory way McDonalds has depicted your house in the photograph above. Your lovely two story house has morphed into a barn!
I thought about trying to get the exact same photo of Heath in front of one of our red barns but figured he wouldn’t stand still long enough.
I really can’t get over the fact that your goat eats Twinkies! I think you should ask for a lifetime of free fries though. Otherwise, your body will go into french fry detox after your year is up…
Which is worse, detox or heart disease?
My word – it clearly is the same goat. I think you have a case (and a case of twinkies 🙂 )
I hope so… Mr. Ruminant is a good attorney… I know that because he advertises on the back of the phone book!
You definitely have a case.
OH MY! 😆 Very good!
They stop at nothing. That clown is unquestionably Raggedy Anne in a golden jumper. I tried to sue them over that, but it turns out I don’t own any rights to Raggedy Anne. Who knew? Go get ’em, Steve!
Sorry you don’t own any rights to Raggedy Ann, but it was honorable of you to try to extort some money from Mr. McDonald anyway.
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