What books are you reading?

Men across the globe are praising the Fifty Shades of Grey series of books for the increase in their sex lives the books have provided as these sensual stories have been devoured by female readers.  If you are not familiar with the Fifty Shades of Grey books, well, apparently the two main characters have sex… ALL. THE. TIME! In any case, nothing like a little literary fantasy to get people revved up.

In the past, other series of books haven’t worked out so well…

Prior to the Fifty shades of Grey series, the Hunger Games books were topping the charts. Now granted, I read the first one and I thought it was a very good book. But in all honesty, horrible, desolute poverty and kids killing each other just doesn’t put people in the mood. I mean, the average guy could spend hours out in the woods collecting and preparing stuff for a romantic dinner of stale bread, roots dug out of the ground, nuts and berries, mice and squirrel meat and porridge, his hands dirty and bloody from digging in the soil and tearing meat from bone… only to have his wife crush all his dreams when she walks in the door with a pizza and six cartons of Chinese food. It would be enough to want to fire an arrow through her heart. Not very romantic.

Before the Hunger Games, most women were, of course reading the Twilight series of books and men were thinking, “this is it, a sexy vampire story, I am so in, I just need to spend a lot of time down in my basement so I can get that pale white skin!” Plus, the average, grunt-speaking man had to learn to talk in short, breathy sentences while staring off into space and saying things like “you are utterly indecent — no one should look so tempting, it’s not fair” and “yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.”  Of course, if a guy was able to master those things, he had to attempt to move through rooms at light speed while shirtless and wearing tight pants.  This of course came with the high risk of knocking himself out while tripping over the unused exercise machine and flying head first into her nightstand.

Then, who can forget the Harry Potter years, when women wrapped their vivid imaginations around wizards and magic. It seemed like those years went on forever, but most men thought, “what could be sexier than a guy in a wizard costume with a pointy hat?” Sales of those little circular glasses went through the roof and men interacted with their wives by saying things like “woulducus likto havicus sexicus” and “engorgio erecto, can you takus carathis” while simultaneously opening up the black cloak that they were wearing as a bathrobe.  Apparently women didn’t find any of this arousing in the least.

So, now that the Fifty Shades of Grey books will slowly fade from the best seller list, men around the globe are concerned about what books will become the next craze. As most men don’t follow the best seller list and/or know what’s popular maybe you female readers can help us figure out what we can look forward to next!


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35 responses to “What books are you reading?

  1. Here’s a thought… How about you men stop worrying about the next book craze and be the man of our dreams in the first place! I’m looking for a man with a red metal suit, who can fly because he has rockets strapped the palms of his hands. That – and his big office tower and bank account. If you see him, tell him I’ve been looking for him 🙂

  2. I have a forming dread that the next craze will be Gillian Flynn novels. They are riveting, but they’re all about murders.

  3. hahahahahaha…trends are fun…they make life exciting and amusing to those of us who don’t actually read these vampire and 50 shades books…unless of course like mikey says, people start to disappear…

  4. Tamara

    I am only commenting because I want Naughty and Heath to get a Twinkie. =)
    LOVED the Shades of Grey books. I read all three in about 10 days.

  5. Eh. Just combine them all: Sparkly pale vampires having S & M sex with Dumbledore. (I don’t know who Dumbledore is, but it’s the only name I could come up with….)

  6. I will admit again on your blog…regretfully…that I am reading 50 shades of grey. I must also say, that while the beginning was exciting and compelling (to say the least), now, half way through, it is not so well written. Cliche and silly. But, I will continue to read it because…well just because… As for the next craze, I have no input. It is quite shocking that I have joined the club on this one. Who has time to read? 😉

  7. Pingback: What books are you reading? | The Brown Road Chronicles | Vampire Occult Society

  8. You know what pisses me off? Not being able to write this crap. Yes, I spend hours a day drafting and editing literature, but who reads it? Not very many people. It’s not the right genre. If you want to be a successful author these days, what do you write? You’ve got a couple of choices. Romance is the hottest selling fiction. Why? Because women buy books. Oh, sure, some men buy them too, but most men just don’t fricken read. (That’s less of an opinion than an observation of my current environment in which I encounter only a few male readers compared to female readers). And it isn’t lack of material, there’s plenty of it out there, but it isn’t on the best seller list often. What gets the news anymore is erotic fiction and paranormal romance.

    I know my son reads, and he prefers supernatural stories about the Greek Gods, or stories about heroes of one kind or another – usually with supernatural powers. My daughter, on the other hand, reads exactly what you’d expect – paranormal romance. My daughter, without a doubt, chews through more books than my son, who spends most of his time blasting zombies on the Xbox with his friends. Will he still read as an adult? Somehow, I don’t think he’ll read much.

    Could I write supernatural romance or erotic fiction? Absolutely. I have done so in the past. But, to be honest, I don’t enjoy. I’m not sure why, I guess because it’s not what I prefer to read, and therefore it feels like a betrayal of my values as an author. And I don’t mean “moral” values – I mean what I value as a reader, you know, “good literature.” I’ve skimmed through a few of these novels just to get a feeling of the writing, and most of it is at an eighth grade reading level. It always leaves me thinking, “so that’s what sells in this country – crap.” I can’t write crap, not and be happy with myself, so fuck it. I’m not going to bother. And as a result, I’ll probably never be what you’d call a “successful” author – success being the ability to make my living writing fiction for publication. Screw it. I’m going to write what I enjoy reading anyway. If I didn’t enjoy writing it, it wouldn’t be any good.

    • Excellent comment and observations. Yes, I don’t know many guys that read a lot, but most women I know are readers. Yes, most books these days are not written at a difficult reading level, because frankly there are a lot of people out there that probably don’t read at that high a level. I think the skill of these authors is not in their ability to craft incredibly complex literature, it’s in being able to come up with an interesting and compelling storyline that grabs peoples attention and then keep their attention without making them think too hard. I admire your stance on writing what you enjoy and what you think is important. If I felt I could write a sexy romance novel that would land on the best seller list, even though I’m not interested in that kind of fiction, I’m not sure I wouldn’t give it a run!

  9. I must be the only woman on the planet who hasn’t read them. Clearly my husband doesn’t know what he is missing out on in that case…..

  10. I’m reading books, mostly, the occasional take away menu and the faces of people passing by.

  11. I read strange stuff. My last books were Sense and Sensibility, To Kill a Mockingbird, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and The Book Thief. I’m reading Bayou Folk now. Sorry… no Twilight and no cheap rip-off 50 shades stories. I will probably read Hunger Games when I get time.

  12. Great post!!! I’ve read Hunger Games and have the other two to start someday soon. I understand writerdood’s comment and frustration. Not that I write in a literary way, but it does seem lots of mediocre books get published that really aren’t worth my time. And the publishers don’t “buy” mine? Oh well. Be that as it may, romance has kept many women satisfied in their dreams lives if not in their real ones for so many years that there’s no way anyone can call it a fad (not that anyone was, I’m just sayin’…). It’s a staple, a need for some to make up for what they don’t get in their “real” lives or just to get out of their own head sometimes. Some knock it, consider it beneath them, but I realize the importance of it for women and their need for romance with their sex. I don’t read a lot of romance (don’t really need to, lol) but when I do it fulfills a need in my brain to remember all the good relationships out in the world when there are so many that are nothing but drama. Also, anyone who lumps all romance into one category hasn’t read enough of it to know that there is good and bad just like any other category. Oh, and, if you really want to know what I’m reading, check it out on goodreads! Too many to list here…

    • Good analysis! I can’t say I’ve ever read a romance novel, are you surprised? But walk through the book aisle in any store and its clearly an important category to the book biz. What gets published is clearly a mystery to most people, maybe even to agents and publishers!

  13. Hey, your goats will get their first Twinkie on my behalf now!

    I am slightly sickened to admit that I just finished reading the Fifty Shades books. I only read the first one because of my book club, and I’d chew off my left hand to be able to go back in time and decide to skip that month. And then I’d chew off my right hand to rid myself of the awful compulsion to finish every book I read, no matter how many brain cells commit suicide in protest. Oh dear lord, those books were awful! And my boyfriend didn’t even get the benefit, because books THAT bad and characters THAT nauseating is a major turn-off for me.

    For the record, while I did enjoy the Harry Potter series, I have no interest in The Hunger Games, and I would sooner shoot myself than read the Twilight books. In other words, I’m the wrong woman to ask about the next trend! 😉

    • Thanks for visiting! I think its interesting the range of reactions to the different popular series of books. Everything from “I loved it” to “worst thing I’ve ever set my eyes on!” I’ve heard people talk about what a great story the 50 shades books were, regardless of the steamy stuff, which was secondary. As I said above, I thought the Hunger Games was a good book… but I barely read books… so what do I know?!?

  14. I do want to give your goats a Twinkie. I’m not so sure about 50 Shades getting all men some action. I’ve read it and I find the sex scenes about as arousing as, well, a goat eating a Twinkie. But I guess I’m a little obsessed with them because I’ve been recapping them with an extra helping of snark on my blog. I promise I won’t steal your stuff, though your unofficial copyright is hilarious.

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