Tag Archives: lawyers

How are Ducks like Salespeople?

How are Ducks like Salespeople?
I really don’t think they are.
They don’t have much in common.
Except when they’re driving a car.

How are Ducks like Lawyers?
I really don’t think they are.
They don’t have much in common.
Except when they’re taking the Bar.

How are Ducks like Policemen?
I really don’t think they are.
They don’t have much in common.
Except when they’re using radar.

How are Ducks like Tourists?
I really don’t think they are.
They don’t have much in common.
Except when they’re traveling far.

How are Ducks like Golfers?
I really don’t think they are.
They don’t have much in common.
Except when they’re scoring a par.

How are Ducks like Road Workers?
I really don’t think they are.
They don’t have much in common.
Except when they’re leveling tar.

Lest you think I am drunk, the title of this post was a search term today. Apparently my site will now attract people interested in ducks… and salespeople… and duck salespeople… and salesducks. I wondered if the searcher was a salesperson who was acting like a duck or a duck acting like a salesperson. Maybe its a salesperson trying to get his ducks in a row. Maybe he or she should listen to my song. Maybe I am over thinking this.

So, how are ducks like salespeople? Please give me your detailed analysis. Careful now, I am a salesperson, so be nice. Or better yet, how are ducks like whatever you do for a living? Or better yet, how is any animal like what you do for a living? That could make for some great discussion.

Leave me a comment. Or don’t. This isn’t Rocket Science going on in this post. Or leave me a comment on how Ducks are like Rocket Scientists. Or how ducks are like Brain Surgeons.

Or go jump in a lake… whatever…

Quack, quack!

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A Cease and Desist Letter to McDonald’s from my Attorneys

July 11, 2012

Ronald McDonald
McDonald’s Corporation
2111 McDonald’s Dr
Oak Brook, IL 60523

Dear Mr. McDonald:

It has come to our attention (The Attention) that you have been marketing (The Marketing) your McDonald’s franchises (The Franchises) as a source of healthy food (The Food), via a television commercial, using a likeness (The Likeness) of a goat named Heath (The Goat) that is owned by our client, Mr. Steve Warner (The Client), who is the author (The Author) of a blog entitled The Brown Road Chronicles (The Blog).

Our client, “The Client”, owns the Copyright, Trademark, Registration, Licenses and Rights to any and all usages of “The Likeness” of “The Goat” in any forms of media, including television, radio, internet websites, cereal boxes, Twinkie advertisements, etc. As permission was neither asked for nor granted to use “The Likeness” of “The Goat” we declare that your using “The Likeness” of “The Goat” constitutes infringement of the rights of “The Client” and “The Goat”.

“The Client” finds this infringement a despicable violation of the key principles of Copyright, Trademark, Registration, Licenses and Rights and as evidence of the infringement of  the rights of “The Client” we are providing as part of this letter, the following photographic documentation:

Exhibit A: Showing clearly and unquestionably the resemblance between “The Goat” owned by “The Client” and “The Other Goat” used in the McDonald’s commercials.

In terms of the Copyright, Trademark, Registration, Licenses and Rights Statutes, “The Client” is entitled to an injunction against your continued infringement, as well as to recover damages from you for the loss “The Client” has suffered as a result of your infringing conduct.

In the circumstances, we demand that you immediately:

1. remove all infringing content from your TV commercials and notify us in writing that you have done so;
2. pay a licensing fee in the amount of $5,000. (Five Thousand Dollars);
3. immediately cease the use of “The Clients” copyrighted images;
4. undertake in writing to desist from using any of “The Client’s” copyrighted images in the future without prior written authority from “The Client”;
5. immediately begin supplying “The Client” with one year’s worth of free French Fries and Big Macs as well as supplying “The Goat” with one year’s worth of free Twinkies.

We trust that you will regard this letter with all due seriousness and respond accordingly. We await to hear from you by no later than the 1st of August Two Thousand and Twelve.

This is written without prejudice to our rights, all of which are hereby expressly reserved.

Yours faithfully,

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