In my ongoing quest to become famous I have contracted with a very successful advertising and marketing agency to move that goal forward. They have been very busy… first that fabulous radio commercial, now a series of t-shirts. Sorry, these are not for sale at this time but if you want, you can vote on your favorite below! Have fun.
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The State of Michigan tourism department, “Pure Michigan”, has for several years been running a highly successful and award-winning radio advertising campaign promoting all of the wonderful places that people can visit in the state. The voice-over artist is Tim Allen, of television and film fame, who was a long-time Michigan resident.
So after hearing these radio ads over and over again, I thought, what better way to get more readers than to produce a radio ad promoting my own blog, The Brown Road Chronicles.
I’ve been working very hard on this, please take a listen, it’s hosted on Sound Cloud, hope the link works. Maybe soon you’ll hear this on a radio station near you!
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To my loyal long-term subscribers, don’t be concerned, you will not be subjected again, to the squirrel in this post.
In my last entry I discussed possibly closing down Brown Road Chronicles. I also mentioned that I’d decided to keep this blog going and I am here to send some appreciation out to all the people who offered comments and encouragement. Thanks… seriously!
“So… what’s your point?”
Today I was driving home down a major four lane road in a nearby town. I was in the right lane, a small white car was in the left lane just ahead of me. On the other side, no cars were headed in our direction. About 100 yards ahead of me I saw a squirrel start running across the road. Now, this clearly wasn’t just any squirrel… this was a squirrel of epic and noble stature, powerful and athletic. This squirrel was running…. FAST… like Usain Bolt breaking world records in the 100 meters at the recent summer Olympics. I could tell, even from a distance, that this squirrel possessed a nimbleness and agility not often seen in the small animal world. I could almost hear the synapses firing as his muscular rear legs propelled him, with hydraulic force, in leaps and bounds across the pavement.
Why was this squirrel crossing the road? Who knows! That’s one of those profound, life altering questions that will perhaps never be answered in our lifetimes. We’ve pretty much figured out why Chickens cross the road, I mean that’s been hashed out over centuries in riddle after riddle. But why do squirrels cross the road? Yeah, I know… seriously… mind blowing….
Perhaps he saw a good-looking girl squirrel on the other side, or a large oak tree dripping with acorns. Maybe he was late for an important appointment. I don’t know… regardless, when you see a squirrel running across the road they are clearly on a mission, they have a goal in sight, they are focused… like a laser… no even more than that… they’re focused… like a pair of binoculars on a boat full of bikini-clad beauties… uhhh, not that I would do that.
Anyhow, so this mythological squirrel goes running across the road, across four lanes, and gets to literally about two feet from the edge of the opposite side. He had made it across four lanes! He could taste it, two more leaps and he would have been safely in the grass and off to claim whatever dangling carrot had driven him across on this journey in the first place.
BUT…
With just two feet to spare, and still no cars within harm’s way, he slammed on his brakes. I could hear the pads of his feet, squealing like an Indy Car, as he turned around, righted the ship… and just as powerfully and athletically ran back to his starting position and off into the woods. It was a dramatic change of events, an epic reversal of fortune. Perhaps he was just attempting to play a little chicken (no pun intended) with any cars that might be in the road, but more likely, he had been plagued with that brief moment of doubt that we have all experienced in life. He had lost his confidence, panicked and had a sudden bout of uncertainty. He didn’t believe in himself and he gave up.
“So… what’s your point?”
Well, don’t be that squirrel.
I’ve decided not to be that squirrel either. I don’t really know why I write this blog, what my goals are, what the purpose is, what the end result will be. What I do know… if you’ve got some nuts you are chasing and you are so close that you can taste them… well, whether they hang from the tree that is your job, or your writing career, or your relationships or wherever… those are your goals and your dreams and they’re important. They are oh, so important. So dig down deep in your gut and find the will to go that extra couple of feet and cross your particular road.
Because when you get there… those will be some of the tastiest proverbial nuts you’ve ever eaten!
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I’m concerned that we’re running out of cool things that we can lie to our kids about. There used to be all kinds of things we could lie to our kids about.
For example:
“The stork delivered you… in a sheet… that he carries in his mouth.”
“Daddy and Mommy were just wrestling… on the bed… naked.” Just kidding, I’ve thankfully never had to pull that from the repertoire.
And of course the MOTHER OF ALL LIES…
“Santa Claus brought you all that stuff… in a giant sack… that he carries in a sleigh… with flying reindeer.”
This all came crashing down the other night when my son lost a tooth. Now, granted we had already put on the “life schedule” that this would be the year that we tell the 11 year old son that there really aren’t any fat people in red suits or giant rabbits or leprechauns or fairies or anything of the sort that break into your house and leave you stuff in the middle of the night. In fact, we wanted to be perfectly clear that any people coming into the house in the middle of the night, whether that be through a chimney or a broken window or a busted down door, were likely sordid characters that were much more apt to be taking stuff from the house rather than leaving anything of value.
So our son loses a tooth on Friday evening… and Kim and I are lying in bed and she is doing the usual routine of cutting out a tooth shape from a sheet of paper, signing it in the tooth fairy handwriting (which I have to say looks very similar to the Santa Claus handwriting) and putting it and a couple bucks into a plastic baggie.
ME: And why are we still doing this?
HER: I’ll talk to him this weekend.
I have to say, Mom’s rule the roost when it comes to stuff like this, at least in my family, although I suspect it’s that way in most families. Sometimes I wonder, if I had been a single Dad would my kids have had all the experiences with holidays and birthdays and special events that they’ve had with Mom around doing the vast majority of the work. Or would I have said “look son, I know you’re only three years old, but this whole Santa Claus thing… it’s a ruse, how about you go out and get a job to help pay for all this stuff.” I guess I probably would have stepped up but it likely wouldn’t have been quite as magical!
Saturday morning arrives and son is a couple bucks richer. Mom pulls him aside… it went something like this.
MOM: Can I talk to you about something?
SON: (probably thinking he’s in trouble): Sure?
MOM: Do you know who the tooth fairy is?
SON: You?
MOM: Yes, do you know who else I am?
SON: Santa Claus… and the Easter Bunny… and the Leprechauns… and…
And that was it. No shock and awe. No tears. No traumatic lifelong psychiatric issues. How long had he really known? When our daughter was told a few years ago at about the same age, there was lots of crying involved… even though, you know what? At a certain age, they know. In the backs of their incredibly intelligent little minds, they know… or at least they suspect. They’re just not ready to doubt anything their parents say… and in the long run, that’s a good trait to have.
As emotional as it can be for parents to move beyond those precious years of childhood innocence, I have to say, we’re ready to take the next step. Actually we’ve already taken the next step… we’re there. Sometimes it feels like taking a step off a cliff, but that’s what a family is all about, finding our way through life’s challenges as a team. I love where my kids are right now, they’re so talented and interesting and independent and funny as they dive deep into adolescence and teenager-hood. Our daughter will be starting High School in the Fall, our son will be starting Middle School. It’s a big transition year and I am completely confident in their continued ability to stand out and shine.
So, now we’re running out of cool things to lie to our kids about.
My daughter will be learning to drive sometime during the next year or so…
… perhaps I can lie to her about that.
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The Brown Road Chronicles 