Five Reasons I Dislike Leap Days

If perhaps you haven’t already heard, via the twenty-four hour news coverage, today is a Leap Day.

Here’s five reasons I dislike Leap Days.

5.  A Leap Day screws up a perfectly good month with the perfect amount of days.  Seven days in a week + four weeks in a month = twenty-eight days.  See how precise and uncomplicated that is? And I don’t even have OCD.  I think all the months should have twenty-eight days, then the seasons wouldn’t always be in the same months.  And I don’t even have OCD. Some years Christmas would be cold and snowy, other years you could hang out on the beach in a speedo sipping a strawberry daiquiri.  Not that I wear speedos and drink strawberry daiquiris, but, you know, other people might. Each month would start on a Sunday and end on a Saturday. And I don’t even have OCD. Plus, then us people who don’t have OCD wouldn’t have to sing that stupid “30 days hath September” song just to remember whether we’re in a new month or not.

4. There’s a lot of talk about frogs on a Leap Day and I don’t particularly like frogs.  Well, except for Kermit, he was pretty cool the way he could belt out a tune as smooth as silk and make the ladies swoon… and Frog from the “Frog and Toad” books. I loved those books and Frog was always so organized and calm and collected and proper. Toad on the other  hand, a goddamn train wreck, always losing stuff and forgetting things… and I can’t forget Judy the Frog from H.R. Pufnstuf, sure she was a secondary character, but she was always so happy and dancing around and making little kids smile… oh yeah, and the frog in the Frogger video game, that dude was the bomb, running all around the video screen in the eighties arcades… and Michigan J. Frog with his tuxedo and great top-hat, dancing and singing like Frank Sinatra… oh, and how about Keroppi the Frog, from the Hello Kitty series, he was so damn cute… and I can’t leave out Froggy the Gremlin from the Buster Brown show, sure a little creepy, but another smashingly well dressed frog… yeah, but for the most part I really don’t like frogs.

3. Apparently Leap Day is a day when it is considered acceptable for women to romantically pursue men. Now believe me, I think that’s great, a day set aside just for women to romantically pursue men. In fact, I think women should have the right to romantically pursue men any day of the year, Leap Year or not.  But a lot of women choose to wait for a Leap Day, so I have to spend the entire day gently turning down the legions of women that think its acceptable to be romantically pursuing me.

2. Leap Day is just another one of the many holiday’s during the year that I have to remember to shower my wife with love and flowers and gifts and jewelry and candles and wine and chocolates… and frankly, it’s hard to remember all of those days.  Wait… what… other women aren’t getting showered with love and flowers and gifts and jewelry and candles and wine and chocolates on Leap Day?  Oh… ummm…  well, sorry I brought that up.

and the number one reason I dislike Leap Days…

1. It’s just one more day in the year that I have to be sorely disappointed that I haven’t become famous yet.

 

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21 Comments

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21 responses to “Five Reasons I Dislike Leap Days

  1. I definitely want strawberry daiquiri at Christmas.
    What about hypnotoad ?
    Wait? We got flowers and chocolates? I need to show my hubby this blog!
    Please come by to read my funny stories.

  2. Flowers and chocolate? I clearly have not been milking this occasion properly. My husband is going to hear all about it next time, though… 4 years from now…

  3. I am not a fan either. In fact the whole thing as thrown me off completely. It seems I am leaving at 5 am for Vancouver and I was unaware that this trip was scheduled for Thursday instead of Friday until 4 hours ago. Really, blaming Leap year doesn’t make sense as one would think I would be waiting at the airport yesterday, but I must blame something for being an adelpated mess!

  4. As I was reading #4, I remembered the song “Froggy Went A’Courtin'”. 🙂
    I posted something today for Leap Day, a poem, with a reason to like the day: http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/february-29-by-dennis-lange/

  5. bigsheepcommunications

    Have you thought about maybe talking to someone about your frog obsession?

  6. Like – Well, you couldn’t prove it by me that you don’t like toads & frogs, your knowledge sure exceeds mine! Keep this up and maybe by the next leapyear you’ll have your turn at being famous. I certainly hope so (hopefully, before that!!) Keep on “plugging” Great stuff!!!

  7. You can have my fame. I’ve never wanted to be famous. I *would* adore being insanely rich.

    I didn’t know the thing about women pursuing men. It’s March now, I missed my chance.

  8. Not famous yet, well keep trying, maybe one day.

  9. The frog talk really doesn’t make any sense does it? In fact, the word leap doesn’t make any sense either. It’s the other years when we leap frog February 29th. How is miring through an extra day considered leaping? My panties are all in a wad now. Grr!

  10. Sorry to get you all worked up… but congratulations, I’m pretty sure you are the first person to use the word PANTIES in my blog! 🙂

  11. Don’t get your knickers in a knot over it. Makes you sound like you have OCD. 😉

  12. celticadlx

    Now on this post the comments are just as good as the post was! You all are hilarious! I love to see that email pop up and tell me there’s a new post on Brown Roads. Once again, not disappointed! By the way, I have a soft spot for frogs but only for French ones. I married a “frog” and we have a fun time keeping each other hopping! Long time marriage has that affect on some of us.

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