Tag Archives: writing

My Humble Beginnings

The Mad Mud Moon Man   by Steve Warner

Once upon a time there was a mad mud moon man. He lived in a garbage bag and he came out every night. Every weekend he came down to earth. One weekend when he came down, he went to a farm-yard for dinner. The farmer looked out the window and the farmer got up, ran over and got his gun, picked it up, ran out the door and started shooting at him but he got away. Every weekend the mud monster would come to the farm but every time he’d get scared away. One day the farmer called fifteen hunters. All fifteen hunters went. A week went by and still no sign of him. All of a sudden five of them heard footsteps. They all split up. They got back into a group again. They were still hearing footprints. All the sudden five mud monsters came walking at them. All fifteen of them pointed their guns at the mud monsters. All fifteen guns went and there was five mud puddles laying out in the woods.

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I found this today while digging through some files.  My mother had saved it and given it to me many years ago when she was culling stuff out of the house.  I had to clean up some of the grammatical issues up above, but clearly my awesome and worldly writing talents started at an early age!

My kindergarten teacher was named Mrs. Smiley… at least I think it was. That’s one of those “facts” that I have burned into my memory that I will never forget, but there’s no way to verify whether that’s  true or not. Maybe we just called her Mrs. Smiley, because she was happy or something… but that’s not as appealing a tale!  So I’ll stick with the story that she was named Mrs. Smiley. I don’t know if I wrote this in Mrs. Smiley’s class, but clearly with a name like that she must have had a positive influence on my academic career!

When did you seriously start writing? Do you still have any of your early stories?

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If I were a Mom…

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If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Changing my diapers
And cleaning up poo

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Making me laugh
Like a wild Kangaroo

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Cooling my forehead
When I have the flu

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Hanging up all of
The drawings I drew

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Constantly buying
New clothes as I grew

If I were a mom
I’d be just like you
Teaching me all of the
Things that you knew

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Picking me up when my
plans would fall through

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Smiling so bright
When I said that “I do”

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Coming to visit when
My first child was due

If I were a Mom
I’d be just like you
Even though early
You bid us adieu

But instead I’m a Dad
and I know through and through
I’m doing these things
For my own children too

I learned from the best
There’s nothing more true
Wherever you are
I will always love you!

Happy Mother’s Day to all!

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Chasing Rainbows

Red and yellow and pink and green,
Purple and orange and blue,
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow too!

We were treated to this spectacular double rainbow this evening! This was one of the best we have seen in years and amazingly we could see the “rain line” where it was dark on the side we were on and sunny on the far side of the rainbow.  You can sort of see that in the photos. It was far too large to get a photo of the whole thing, but it sure looked like there might be a pot of gold at either end, both sides of which appeared to touch the earth! Nature photos rarely do justice to the majesty that we see in real time and that is definitely the case here.

Lots of folks find religious and spiritual influences in feats of nature like this. Others, like myself, see the scientific side of water refracting light. Regardless, its experiences like these that prove to me how small we really are in the big picture of our world and our universe.

I had the opportunity to experience this with my daughter as we chased it around and tried to find the best position to get a photo before it faded into obscurity. That is all the spirituality I need!

A fascinating world we live in sometimes!

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An Introduction to the Sales Career via the Book “Caps for Sale”

“Once there was a peddler who sold caps. But he was not like an ordinary peddler carrying his wares on his back. He carried them on top of his head.”

So begins the tale of the peddler who sold caps in the famous book “Caps for Sale” by Esphyr Slobodkina originally published in 1940.

Those of you who read regularly might know that I am a sales rep. Having been in my industry in both the capacity as a buyer and a salesperson I feel qualified to give some input to those that are considering a career in sales. You could read “Sales for Dummies” or “Mastering the Art of the Sale” or one of the hundreds of other salesmanship books out there.

Or you could just read “Caps for Sale”.

Here’s why… see my in-depth analysis below.

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Situation 1. Our main character is a peddler who sells caps. He walks up and down the road trying to sell to customers.

Quote from book: “He walked up and down the streets, holding himself very straight so as not to upset his caps. As he went along he called, “Caps! Caps for Sale! Fifty Cents a Cap!”

Analysis: A good salesperson, as this man is, knows that his appearance is one of the most important tools in sales. He is dressed professionally and he keeps his goods very organized and well-kept on his head. He is self motivated, works hard and has a very competitively priced product which he can deliver on the spot. He is implementing one of the simplest of sales tools; fill a need. People need caps… he has caps.

Take Home Thought: Persistence, appearance, hard work and positive energy pays off.

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Situation 2: One day the peddler just couldn’t sell any caps. So he decided to take a walk into the country and found a nice shady tree and took a nap.

Quote from Book: “One morning he couldn’t sell any caps. He walked up and down the street calling “Caps! Caps for Sale! Fifty Cents a Cap!” But nobody wanted any caps that morning. Not even a red cap.”

Analysis: Sales can be very rewarding some days and very frustrating other days. Even the best salesperson will have days when he just can’t sell anything. The peddler understands that a good salesperson is always planting seeds whether he has made a sale or not. Those seeds often grow into positive relationships with customers. He also knows that on some days  he’ll run into rejection after rejection after rejection. On those days it’s often easier to just take a nap.

Take home thought: Sometimes it’s easier just to take a nap.

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Situation 3: When the peddler woke up he realized he had a serious problem; all of his caps were missing.

Quote from Book: “He looked up into the tree. And what do you think he saw? On every branch sat a monkey. On every monkey was a gray, or a brown or a blue, or a red cap!”

Analysis: A good salesperson knows that success will often involve overcoming significant challenges. The peddler knows that he needs to be very detail oriented and constantly at the top of his game. Even though the peddler felt it was okay to take a short break from working, from past experience he quickly remembered that inevitably, if he is not paying attention, something will go wrong.

Take Home Thought: It’s okay to occasionally sleep on the job but be prepared for the consequences.

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Situation 4: The peddler got up from the ground and knew that he had to address the situation.

Quote from book: “The peddler looked at the Monkeys. The Monkeys looked at the peddler. He didn’t know what to do. Finally he spoke to them.”

Analysis: A good salesperson knows that he will sometimes be confronted with a problem, either with a corporate colleague, another rep, or a customer.  When that happens, its best to find a prompt solution that will minimize damage and that is suitable for all parties involved. A good salesperson also knows that to reach an adequate solution to an issue it’s best to have a face to face conversation rather than hiding behind e-mails or texts.  Phone calls are adequate if there is geographical distance between the parties.

Take Home Thought: Face to face conversations are always the preferred method of conflict resolution.

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Situation 5: The circumstances quickly spiral out of control. The peddler shouts at the monkeys, shakes his finger and stamps on the ground in an attempt to get his caps back. But the monkeys only mimic him back.

Quote from Book: “You monkeys, you” he said, shaking a finger at them, “you give me back my caps.” But the monkeys only shook their fingers back at him and said, “Tsz, tsz, tsz.”

Analysis: A good salesperson knows that when attempting to resolve a problem, what begins as a reasonable approach can quickly disintegrate into an epic battle of finger-pointing, stamping feet and abrasive language. Even though the peddler knows this will only cause the monkeys to become defensive and act in the same aggressive and condescending manner, he let’s himself fall into this misdirected method of conflict resolution.

Take Home Thought: Remember the old cliché, “you will catch more monkeys with bananas than you will with vinegar. Monkey’s hate vinegar.” Don’t let anger get the best of you.

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Situation 6: The peddler gets so fed up that he throws his hat on the ground in anger. In response to this, all the monkeys throw their hats on the ground as well and he is able to collect them all up.

Quote from Book: “So the peddler picked up his caps and put them back on his head – first his own checked cap, then the gray caps, then the brown caps, then the blue caps, then the red caps at the very top.”

Analysis:  A good salesperson knows to take advantage of any situation that ends in a positive result whether the positive result was intended or not. Although the peddler knows his approach to solving this particular problem may not have been his finest moment, he can now put this one behind him and get back to his primary role… selling!

Take Home Thought: Stuff usually works out!

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Situation 7: The peddler regains his composure and gets back into the sales field, working hard, filling needs and building relationships.

Quote from Book: “And slowly, slowly, he walked back to town calling, “Caps! Caps for sale! Fifty cents a cap!”

Analysis:  A good salesperson is resilient. A good salesperson lives to sell another day. The peddler knows that he shouldn’t let yesterday’s headaches affect today’s successes.

Take Home Thought: Never Give Up!

So there you go, pretty much all you need to know about sales.

And in the worst case scenario… sometimes it’s easier to just take a nap.

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