Tag Archives: job


Ring, ring…

DISPATCH: 9-1-1, do you need police, fire or ambulance?

ME: Uh… I’m not sure… I think I just need someone to talk to.

DISPATCH: Sir, this is not a self-help line… this is 9-1-1!

ME: Yes… I know… can you help me?

DISPATCH: What is your emergency, sir?

ME: I’m having a very serious emergency… I can’t get up to go to work… and I think I’m dying.

DISPATCH: Sir, where are you?

ME: I’m at home still… on Brown Road… and I can’t get up to go to work.

DISPATCH: You can’t get up to go to work?

ME: Yes… I can’t get up to go to work… and I think I’m dying.

DISPATCH: Why do you think your dying… you sound okay?

ME: This whole situation, it’s killing me.

DISPATCH: What’s the situation, sir… are you in danger?

ME: Well, I need to get up to go to work… but I can’t… and I keep hearing a sucking sound.

DISPATCH: Sir, are you hurt?  Are you having any pain?

ME: No, I’m not hurt and no, I don’t have any pain… but all I can hear is that sucking sound.

DISPATCH: Sir, why can’t you get up for work?

ME: Well, I just don’t really feel like it… I just want to sit at home and drink coffee and work on my blog.  I love coffee.  Do you drink coffee? 

DISPATCH:  Yes, I drink coffee…

ME: Have you ever had to order a coffee at Starbucks?  It’s very difficult.

DISPATCH: Sir, you are wasting my time… and not wanting to go to work is not an emergency!

ME: Yes… I understand… but I think I’m dying.

DISPATCH: Sir… you are not dying… just get up and go to work.

ME: Yes, but can you hear that sucking sound?

DISPATCH: No sir, I don’t hear any sucking sound.

ME: Really?  You can’t hear that sound… it sounds like a vacuum… just sucking and sucking and sucking.

DISPATCH:  I am sorry sir, I don’t hear any sucking sound.

ME: Shhhhh… be very quiet and listen… see, hear that sucking sound?

DISPATCH: Okay… yes, yes, I can kind of hear it now.

ME: What is that sound? It’s very frightening… I’ve been hearing it a lot lately… and I think I might be dying.

DISPATCH: Well, sir I have heard that sound before, it’s something I’ve come across ocassionally.

ME: Oh… so you’ve heard it before… I’m terribly concerned… do you know what is it?

DISPATCH: Well, sir, there are different types of those sucking sounds, but that particular one… well, I’d have to say, I believe it’s your job.

ME: Uh… what do you mean it’s my job?

DISPATCH: Well, sir… it’s your job, it’s sucking the life out of you… that’s why you feel like you are dying.

ME: Oh my, I’m very worried… do you think you should send an ambulance?

DISPATCH: No sir, you don’t need an ambulance… but you might want to think about a different career. Is there anything else I can help you with?

ME: Yes, I mean no, I mean… I am already looking at some other possibilities… but what I really want to do is write children’s books. Have you read my blog… Brown Road Chronicles?

DISPATCH: No sir, I have not read your blog.

ME: Well it’s very funny… it’s about country living and other stuff… and I recently wrote a poem about my goats. A lot of people really liked it and thought it would make a good children’s book.

DISPATCH: Uh… excuse me?  Your goats?

ME:  Yes, my family has two goats… their names are Naughty and Heath… we’re their third owners!  They came pre-named and they’re adorable and sometimes they wear coats!

DISPATCH: Okay sir, that’s fascinating and all, but I am very busy, the dispatch lines are ringing off the hook… plus your chances of making a living writing children’s books is very slim. They say something like 5% of all authors make enough money to live on.  I think you need to look at some other options.

ME: Yes, yes I understand… but the goat story… well, it’s a rhyming poem. It’s very good. Can I e-mail it to you?

DISPATCH: No sir, I have lots of work to do… and the phones are ringing off the hook… but maybe you could just give me the address of your blog and I’ll take a look when I get home tonight. I am sure your story is very good… but you know, publishers hate rhyming stories. Don’t let me deter you from trying though.  I’m just a dispatcher… what do I know?

ME: Okay, the address is… https://brownroadchronicles.wordpress.com. It’s an excellent blog… you can subscribe to it if you want.

DISPATCH:  I am sure it is… is there anything else I can help you with today?  I really must go.

ME:  No, no… but thank you so very much, I am feeling much better now… I think I just needed someone to talk to. I guess I better get up and go to work. I hope I didn’t keep you too long.

DISPATCH:  You’re welcome… glad I could be of help… but next time may I suggest calling a career counselor!


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“I Don’t Want to Go to School!”

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow” my daughter said yesterday evening. Not so unusual words from a 13 year old kid. In fact not so unusual words from any kid on a Sunday night when “the blues” kick in. The Sunday night blues, that kind of sickish, crappy, depressed feeling you get when you know you have to start a new week, especially after a fun weekend. She spent Saturday with a close friend at a local women’s college basketball game. That same friend spent the night at our place and we took them with my son and I to a sledding event we hold every year with the cub scouts. Yes, no doubt a fun weekend and one that makes a Monday morning school day look, by far, less than appealing.

I also used to get the Sunday night blues occasionally as a kid… and lately I’ve been getting them again all too frequently. I keep wondering “don’t us responsible adults eventually grow out of that?”  I know it’s a function of not being terribly satisfied with work right now and realizing too that I have let pass some of the creative pursuits (music, art, writing, etc.) that showed their directional signs to me on the roads that I have traveled to get me to where I am now.  I was a cellist all through grade school.  I gave it up when I went away to college because I couldn’t find the drive to take it to the next level.  I used to sketch often but have not drawn anything in over two decades.  Of course, I love to write, which is what got me here to this blogging site.  The list goes on and on…

I’ve tried not to lose complete site of that part of me, but the day to day often gets in the way and free time is at a premium.  I envy the people that have been able to build that creativity into their working life… you know that part of your life that fills up MOST of your days!  Not that I necessarily could have made a lucrative career out of any of these activities, they call them “starving artists” for a reason!  But in hindsight, who knows?  There are so many decisions that we all make each and every day that alter the path that we will follow the next day.  More and more I find myself CRAVING the “creative life” and finding it harder and harder to compartmentalize the time spent each day working vs. “creating” vs. spending some quality time with my family, my anchors as they say. I guess I want it ALL, lumped conveniently into one nice package.

Lately I’ve tried to instill this thought process into my kid’s heads.  For sure, we have some time before we send them off to college and they begin planning out the rest of their lives!  But I want it be be crystal clear to them that the world really is their canvas, that they should never settle on the easy path and certainly never give up on their dreams!  Yeah, probably a little heavy for a couple of kids that aren’t thinking about much other than school and sports and video games… and in my daughter’s case… maybe boys (uugh!).  But I guess I feel, in their case, it’s never too EARLY to start… and maybe, just maybe, in my case, with the support of my wonderful family behind me… it’s never too LATE to start over!


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