Fantasy Football

I have been invited to participate for a second year in a row in a fantasy football league with some friends.  It costs $20.00 to play and the top two teams split up the money. I played last year for the first time and came in last place. I’m pretty sure that’s why they invited me back.  When they held our draft last year I showed up with everything I thought was necessary to draft a successful fantasy football team.  That included a six-pack of beer and… well, actually that’s all I brought was the beer.  It wasn’t fantasy beer, it was real beer.  In fact it was a six-pack of pretty good beer – Sam Adams Boston Lager.  But that was all I brought.  I didn’t even have a pen.  All of the other guys had stacks and stacks of papers and notes and draft guides and all kinds of other fantasy football documentation. I felt like I was having a bad dream where I had arrived at a test site to take the SAT without ever having looked at a study guide or a sample test and having forgotten my #2 pencil! But I had beer.  Some of the other guys had beer also, so I didn’t feel totally out-of-place, but it was cheap beer.  Budweiser and Miller Lite were well represented.  I quickly became very thankful that I hadn’t brought my usual drink of choice… Chardonnay.  One of the guys was nice enough to give me some of his spare player worksheets so that I could document all of my picks.

I love football. In fact, I’m a hard-core, eternally loyal, purple and gold bleeding Minnesota Vikings fan and have been since I was a kid.  But I don’t follow the entire NFL like all of these other guys.  They know who every player is, what positions they play and which teams they play for. Let alone not having the time to keep track of all of that, I just don’t find it that interesting.  Some of these guys are also participating every year in multiple fantasy football leagues. Talk about a time suck! I will admit it was kind of fun last year, but one league is enough for me to satisfy my… umm… football fantasies.

Speaking of that, I think they should change the name of fantasy football to something more appropriate.  The term armchair quarterback, of course, comes from fans sitting in their armchairs, watching a sporting event and screaming instructions at the players on the TV screen.  Maybe instead of fantasy football, it should be called Armchair Football.  In my opinion, the term fantasy football has a kind of sexual connotation to it.  Perhaps that stems from when I run around the house in my Vikings jersey and football helmet pretending I’m a football player and my wife puts on her sexy Vikings cheerleader outfit and…. yeah…. uhhh… nevermind…

Anyway, if you are playing fantasy football this year, I wish you the best!  May I suggest a glass of Chardonnay with your nachos and chicken wings this Sunday?


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23 responses to “Fantasy Football

  1. Ha, I bet Chardonnay would’ve gone over reallly well. Fantasy footballers are some hardcore nutjobs, if you ask me. I used to work in a pizza place and one league showed up every Monday to watch the game. Really annoying, but they tipped well. Drunk people usually do. 🙂

  2. Fantasy Football?? You spelled it wrong. It is spelled F A N T A S Y H O C K E Y! Here is a tip – don’t draft Crosby, Ov is the man to have this year. Keep an eye on Toews, always a force to be reckoned with. Your welcome 😉

  3. My team is in our qualifying final on Sunday. They’d better win. I will not be happy if Calton win. Mind you, one of Mr O’s school people is coming over and he barracks (we do not “root” for a team here as the Aussie meaning is, well, never mind…..) for Carlton.

    I need to break out my Bombers t-shirt.

  4. bigsheepcommunications

    I’m not sure, but doing your own laundry might bar you from participating in fantasy football.

  5. Do you mean the REAL football, or just American football 🙂

    I have played fantasy football over here for about 3 years but its only for fun.

  6. sportsattitudes

    I have been playing FF since 1998 and fortunately for me, my wife also enjoys it immensely. We each only field one team per season…but I will admit to being the Commissioner of our eight-team League. I do agree the name Fantasy Football could use a makeover as it really doesn’t capture the essence. I also can understand those who find participation puzzling. As for the jersey/helmet/cheerleader roleplaying, I assume that only occurs once you know for sure how your team did…

    • I always found participation puzzling because I just didn’t know how it worked. Now that I’ve done it, I think it’s kind of fun. The one league doesn’t require much time commitment and it give you a little more stake on all the games each weekend.

  7. I have just read your UNOFFICIAL COPYRIGHT NOTICE.
    My i, steal / copy / borrow / use it, and it will be altered a little, and i’ll mention where i got it. But if you don’t want me to there’s no problem.

  8. I just joined an online fantasy football league (only because I want to win free cigars) I am like you though, one is plenty.

  9. Fantasy Football does sound fun, but can you draft Mickey Mouse or Harry Potter … after a few rounds?
    Why isn’t Fantasy Tennis Single’s League not popular? It’s a mystery.

    note: if you draft everyone from the same team, you are probably not getting the drift … or are really positve … or can’t stand other teams.

  10. I have a friend who wants me to explain Fantasy Football on my blog, The Football Novice. I’m not sure I CAN explain; even if I could, I feel like the explanation would be wasted when right now we have only made it through the field, downs and the basics of scoring. Can you explain what Fantasy Football is to a non-participant?


    • Each league is run differently depending on how the people involved choose to set it up. But, the simple explanation is, you draft a team just like a draft… all the participants sit around a room and in order, pick players they want on their team from actual active NFL players. Then each weekend before the games start you have to assign your starting players from the ones you drafted, i.e. which players are going to be worth points for you that week. There is a game schedule and each week you play against another team in your league. You score points based on the stats your actual players put up during their REAL games. i.e. yardage passed, yardage run, touchdowns scored, receptions, kicker stats, defensive stats, etc. The programs tally up all the points for you. Most points wins the game. How the point system is set up depends on how each league is set up by its participants. There are lots of other rules about trades, picking up and releasing players, etc. It can get complicated. Anyone else feel free to chime in if there is more to add.

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