Tag Archives: poetry

My 100th Post!

Today I am writing my One Hundredth post.
I’m not trying to brag and I’m not trying to boast.
I’d just like to share a short monologue.
To all of the readers that frequent my blog.

Thank you, my friends, for reading these posts.
I’ve written about goats, about BOOBS, about ghosts,
and my house and my truck and my kids and my wife,
and all the great things that happen in life.

I’ve written about topics that make people happy.
I’ve written about topics you likely found sappy.
Some posts have been funny, some posts have been sad.
Perhaps, once or twice, I have made someone mad.

I’ve made friends I suspect I will never be meeting,
in person, instead of while blogging and tweeting.
You’ve read and you’ve “liked” and you’ve commented nicely.
You’ve shared all your feelings and thoughts so precisely.

You’ve made me feel special and oh, so connected.
You’ve welcomed me more than I’d ever expected.
To a place where all of our creativity is nourished.
A place where all of our writing has flourished.

So, I thank you again for reading this blog.
I know that sometimes it can be a time hog.
Thank you for supporting this blog as it grows.
For following along wherever it goes.

I hope you will promise to keep on returning.
And continue to only be mildly discerning.
With that I will tell you that this post is done.
Now on to start writing post One Hundred and One.

Thank you my friends. Your support and friendship
is truly valued! Here’s to another 100 posts!

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The Rules of Texting

Here’s a phone, our teenage child.
It’s for your safety, don’t go wild.
With all that texting to your peers.
When the bill comes you will be in tears.

i will b careful ys i will
dnt wnt 2 hv 2 pay that bill
ill only txt a ltl bit
i dnt wnt u to hav a fit

Now let us set a few small rules.
Your parents aren’t a couple fools.
Even though you are an awesome kid.
There’s just some things we must forbid.

wat r these rules u must enforce
u know i wnt go wld of course
ive nvr bn in trouble b4
u shouldnt worry anymre

Just listen up, these rules are easy.
They’re nothing that will make you queasy.
No texting after you’re in bed.
And we can check your texting thread.

ok i promise u can trust
i think ur rules r very just
i wnt b txting after bed
and u can ck my txting thread

For many months you’ve had your phone.
We’ve noticed you’re quite texting prone.
So, so many every day.
Is not that which we want to pay.

bt all my frnds r txting me
i hv 2 reply asap
or else theyll wndr where i am
thats somthng u shld nt condemn

We’ve noticed something else as well.
You told us you would not rebel.
You’re texting after you’re in bed.
We sure don’t like to be misled.

im sorry & im guilty 2
im sorry i disobeyed u
i know i did it now and then
im sorry it wont happen again

We appreciate your true confession.
But you’ve made a serious transgression.
We’re going to take your phone away.
We’re going to take it for a day.

i thnk thats fair i undrstnd
i undrstnd ur reprimand
my phones a privilege nt a rt
i c that in a whole new lite

Thank you child for being you.
Sometimes you’ll break a rule or two.
Your Mom and Dad are here to guide.
The world’s a scary place outside.

i know ur trying 2 do ur best
4 tht i thnk my life is blessed
i luv u so much even tho
it dsnt alwys seem 2 show

O’ child of ours we love you too.
We’ll always love you through and through.
Sometime you’ll look back on these days.
And know you grew in many ways.

*based on a true story!

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Mr. Smither was in a dither…

Mr. Smither was in a dither while fixing his old house one day.
Kneeling on the floor, his knees were sore, a rusty nail was in his way.
His floor was squeaky, sometimes creaky, a shiny nail would do the trick.
But first he must, remove that rusty nail, a task that should be quick.

He tried and tried, he pulled and pried, his hammer wouldn’t win this fight.
The more he pulled, that nail would hold, onto that board with all its might.
His arms soon ached, he took a break, and came up with different angle.
A crowbar would, release for good, this nail with which he’d been entangled.

He hooked the claw, he clenched his jaw, he mustered up his strength and brawn.
He cranked with force, so much of course, he knew that nail would soon be gone.
Then what transpired, that nail it fired, like a bullet through the air.
Across the room, with a sonic boom, it bounced off the old-rocking chair.

In that chair, was often where, his Cat named Fred would take his naps.
Fred slept this day, snoozing away, dreaming of catching mice perhaps.
Unaware, of the oncoming scare, that would quickly give him quite a fear.
Poor Fred he leapt, from where he slept, straight up into the chandelier.

Mr. Smither, still in a dither, ran to see what he’d begat.
He was shocked, the chair it rocked, but in the seat there was no cat!
Then he heard a cry, from toward the sky, he looked to see poor Fred in fright.
The lamp was swinging, Fred was clinging, his big wide eyes were quite a site.

He grabbed his ladder, to fix this matter, and climbed up to the precipice.
He reached for Fred, who filled with dread and soon began to growl and hiss.
Then Fred decided, somewhat misguided, that he would rather try to jump.
‘Cause cats survive, they have nine lives, Fred nailed the landing with a thump.

With this commotion, in slow motion, Mr. Smither high upon that ladder.
First he twisted, then he listed, then he fell with quite a clatter.
Lo and behold, it knocked him cold, he lay there in a foggy trance.
Mrs. Smither, now in a dither, she quickly called an ambulance.

The Doctor said, “well, he’s not dead, just some bruises where he hit.”
“But I’d suggest, it would be best, to stay off ladders for a bit.”
The moral here, it is quite clear, if your floor might have a squeaky board.
Just let it squeak and let it creak, lest you end up in a hospital ward!

Listen to the Audio Version

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The Dolly with No Head

Let me tell you a story that will fill you with dread.
A tale of the dolly who had no head.
A horrible creature that haunts in the night.
If you were to see it, would give you a fright.

A dastardly tale of lies and deceit.
A memory I’ve tried to keep fairly discrete.
As not to revive those visions I feared.
As not to have people think I am weird.

This dolly, you see, was missing its head.
And somehow it chose to live under my bed.
I never knew, ‘twas it a girl or a boy?
Just a horribly, frightfully, disfigured toy.

Why this dolly picked me, I never quite knew.
Surely there was some other kid who was due,
to have his room haunted, to be filled with fear.
By this dolly who seemed to never appear.

T’was never a sight for my frightful wide eyes.
Looking under the bed seemed profoundly unwise.
So I’d leap to the mattress, climb under the spread.
To avoid being grabbed by the dolly with no head.

So how did I know that this dolly existed?
I’ll tell you the story, beware it’s quite twisted.
I was told by my brother’s that the dolly was there.
Living under my bed and that I should beware!

Then one night I mustered up all of my grit.
With the biggest flashlight my hands would permit.
I entered my room which was darker than black.
I turned on the flashlight, to deter an attack.

Then I crouched on the floor and with chattering teeth,
I inched toward my bed and I peered underneath.
Alas, nothing scary was there to be seen.
From the front to the back or the space in between.

So this moral I learned, you shouldn’t ignore.
What you hear from your siblings is probably lore!
There’s likely no truth to what they have said.
Especially if it involves a dolly with no head!

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