Okay look, this is hard to admit… but I’ve admitted worse things here at Brown Road Chronicles… so I’m gonna just come right out and say it…
I’m starting to feel a little inadequate… okay, not just a little inadequate… totally inadequate… like really fucking totally inadequate… because mine just isn’t very big. In fact after seeing some of these other ones, I think mine is just plain small! Like… really freakin’ small! I’ve always felt so good about it too, like it was one of the bigger ones, something I could be proud of and show off… and even tell my friends about. But lately I’ve seen some on-line that are just freakin’ huge! I don’t know how they grew them to be that big. I mean I’ve been working really hard on mine, but it just doesn’t seem to be growing. It was growing for a little while, but lately it has just sort of plateaued and frankly I’m coming to realize that it never really was that big in the first place. I guess I had just told myself it was big… huge even… but it’s clearly not.
My wife even said to me the other day, “Steve, it’s not really as big as you think it is, you’re giving it a lot more credit than it really warrants, and I’ve certainly spent some time with it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, its great and all and you do a great job with it… but it’s pretty small compared to what else is out there.”
Wow, talk about a blow to the ego… my own wife has even noticed. I’ve tried everything too, taken the recommendations of all the experts on ways to increase its size, did the exercises, spent the money on the gimmicks. But I guess those recommendations just don’t really work, well at least they haven’t worked in my case. I don’t know… I’ll admit it can be a little frustrating. At least it hasn’t started shrinking yet.
I know, I know… I can hear you saying it… it’s not the size that’s really important. I know… really I do. What’s that old saying, “it’s not the size of the ship…” Okay look, I get that, I understand that it’s the relationships and the way you use it to develop those relationships. It’s the response you get to it. It’s the presentation. It’s making someone happy with it. It’s what you get out of it personally. It’s the release you get from it. Sure, I know it’s all those things, but let’s face it… that’s all so cliché… we all know that the size is important… it just is… especially in this ego driven world we live in. The bigger the better, right? We all may say the size isn’t important, but we all know it is. It’s what drives us, it’s what gets us up in the morning, it’s what keeps us coming back day after day.
I saw this ad the other day… It seems legit, so I was thinking I might give it a try.
34 responses to “It’s Not the Size of the Ship…”
This was perfect! Loved it. I am taking a month off from blogging this summer and I’m excited to not be sucked up in the stats and all the other crap.
You’re leaving us for a month?!? We’ll miss you! 🙂
I thought we were discussing your chain saw or lawn mower. LOL. =)
You know what they say about guys with big chainsaws…..
I’m in! Is it done with beta testers or do they need more?
I’m not sure, I think there is an 800 number to call!
Very well done! 😆 Big blogs? But the experts say right smaller articles – mine are ALWAYS too long! That is why my manuscript runs in at 92,000 words – and probably going to get BIGGER.
The experts also say PROOFREAD! write not right…..
I figured that’s what you meant! 92,000 words… holy smokes!!
This would be funny if it wasn’t so painfully true…about blog size mean.
Yes… painfully true!
Nope, your blog is awesome. It’s about style not size, and I think I’m still talking about blogs even.
I noticed a guy who started blogging a few weeks after me go around liking thousands of posts he didn’t read, so that he managed to get one thousand hits and 100 watchers within a couple of days, but is it really worth it? Probably not… People are going to figure out you’re a bit of a sham.
Thanks for being a fan! 🙂
Don’t buy into the hype – there are always side effects. It’s just not worth the risk.
Yeah, those damn side effects… that’s a blog post in itself.
You have been happy with your thing being small all these years, you could maybe get an extension for it free at ( http://WWW.secret extensions for you. com ) they are very discrete ( so i have heard ) 🙂
If your wife is happy-ish with your little one, i would make do 🙂
She’s happy with my… you know… blog size no matter how big or small it is!
If your blog stays up for more than four hours after using this product, consult Julie at tech support immediately!
Hahahahaha! Best. Comment. Ever!
Who woulda thunk the way to a BIGGER blog is SHORTER posts? (according to your commenter above) Probably true, though. No matter what they say, everyone loves a Quickie 😉
Damn. Damn, damn. Oh well. *slinks off to write another looooonng article.*
Please don’t slink! I agree with you.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Hold your head erect. Be firm with yourself. There’s no need to hold a mass debate on the matter. You can rise to the occasion and soon the results will come for you. I hope you are emboldened my support… innuendo? What innuendo?
I’ve always thought the word innuendo was a little innuendo-ish in itself!
What like a bread based anal sex toy? ‘In your end dough’. Brings a whole new meaning to a wiener bun I suppose. (Knew I shouldn’t have had a coffee after 5pm!)
Good stuff, Steve – as always. Glad to see you writing again. I’m thinking of doing some writing too sometime. . .
I know you… you always come through with more posts.
What an entertaining post, of course. I so wish there was a way to be rich and famous without having to do anything! Ha ha. Keep it coming dude. We, your readers, don’t care about size either, because we love the quality of your…blog. Wink wink, nudge nudge 😉
Rich and famous without doing anything?!? Is that a possibility?
I’m not sure what’s funnier, the blog post or the comments. LOL
That’s the great thing about blogging, its a team effort. A good post becomes even better with some great comments!
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