I am mad!
I am really mad!
I am really so fucking MAD!
Do you know why I am MAD?
Well, listen up, ‘cuz this is some serious business!
You readers probably know this already, but just in case you don’t… in case you are not a subscriber… in case you haven’t seen the front page…. well… I have been overlooked once again. OVERLOOKED… ONCE… AGAIN! Do they think I haven’t noticed? Do they think I’m not offended? Do they think I haven’t figured out that they probably are not even considering me?
Well… BELIEEEVVEEE MEEEE… I HAVE noticed. It’s a sham, it’s a crock, its criminal. Time and again I’ve put myself out there in front of the world and time and again I’ve been overlooked. Overlooked like the last kid picked in gym class for the dodgeball team. Overlooked like some dork at the school dance, standing against the wall, hoping the homecoming queen will ask him out. Yeah, I’ve noticed alright! I keep getting overlooked and… I… AM… MAD! In fact I have been overlooked so many times I’m starting to feel like Susan Lucci at the Emmy Awards.
Seriously, are they saying I don’t have what it takes?
Well, you know what? I think I do have what it takes. I mean, what the fuck do these other guys have that I don’t have? Is it because I swear too damn much? Or what… do you have to have connections or something? Do you have to kiss someone’s ass? Do you have to be like a goddamn movie star?
I mean, who in the hell do these people who make these decisions think they are? Who’s involved in the selection process? What’s their criteria for selection? I want to know! I want some facts and figures! I want some answers to these questions!
I demand some goddamn answers!
Because, you know what? YOU… KNOW… WHAT? I think it should finally be my turn. I think I deserve it because I’ve worked hard and I believe I have a large fan base that would support my selection! Think what it would do for my reputation, my fame, my stature. Think how my blog would grow! Next time around, I want to be selected, I want to be on the goddamn front page!
I will not be OVERLOOKED any more!
I mean, who the fuck is Bradley Cooper anyway? Sure, he’s handsome and has great hair and stunning blue eyes and perfect teeth, and sure, he won this time…
… but frankly… I’ve never heard of the guy.