Breaking Up

Dear New York Yankees,

I am so sorry to have to tell you this in a letter but I just thought it was the best way and at least I didn’t text you. We’ve had so many special times together since we met in 1977 and I really do still love you. I’ll never forget all the beers we shared and the bags of potato chips and hot dogs and all the other great times.  I loved you so much over the years, especially when you had Don Mattingly, those were great times and I’ll always cherish them. In fact, I’ll be honest, because I know you always say how honesty is so important in a relationship, and tell you I’ll always love you, but right now I just don’t feel “in love” with you. Does that make sense? My emotions right now are so crazy I just don’t understand what is going on. Anyway, I think it might be best if we take a little break from each other. SORRY! I’m SO, SO sorry and I know that you’ll be hurt and maybe all we need is some time off, maybe I just need some time off. This isn’t really about you, it’s really about me, please don’t be mad. I know you are going to be mad. God I hate doing this to you, but I just feel it’s not working out like we thought it would, especially this whole long distance relationship. It was so much easier when we lived closed to each other.  But since I moved away, you know I almost never get to see you and I’m just not sure we can make this work any longer. Maybe I just need a little space and some time to work out all of my feelings. Do you understand where I am coming from? I know this is probably coming as a big shock to you and I feel terrible about this and I just hope that you understand what I’m going through right now. I have a lot going on in my life right now and my emotions are all over the place. I know you probably think it’s just hormones or something, but it’s not and I’m just asking you to give me a little time to get my feelings in order.

You know I also think it might be a good idea if I were to see some other teams for a little while, you know, while we work through these issues. Like maybe some local teams. Like maybe the Detroit Tigers. Just for a little while, you know, like maybe just through the rest of the playoffs, and then we can see how it goes once we’ve both had a little space and some time away from each other.  I know how you must be feeling reading this and I feel so horrible about it, but again, please understand that this isn’t about you at all, it’s just about me. I just need some time to figure things out. Does that make sense? Well actually it is a little bit about you. I have to admit, you really left me totally unsatisfied last week during the American League Division Series. I know what you’re thinking, that you had the best record in baseball this year and that is really great and I’m so proud of you and I love you for that, but you have to admit you’ve kind of let yourself go. You’re just not really as sexy as you used to be. I know you have Derek Jeter but he’s getting kind of old now and those other guys like Nick Swisher and Alex Rodriquez just aren’t getting me fired up.  And that payroll of yours, well yeah it does kind of make you look fat. I’m sorry to say those things but I think it’s important to air it all out, you know? Do you understand where I’m coming from? I hope you understand. The Tigers on the other hand, they have Justin Verlander. Anyway, I’m SO SORRY to do this in a letter and I’d prefer if you didn’t try to call or e-mail me or anything like that. I’ll let you know when I figure everything out. Is that okay? I hope you aren’t too mad.  SORRY! 😦

Steve

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20 Comments

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20 responses to “Breaking Up

  1. Sorry to hear about your relationship issues. I hope you take the time you need to figure out your emotions. . . May I suggest soccer? 🙂

  2. bigsheepcommunications

    Breaking up is never easy. Hang in there.

  3. Steve, i feel sorry for you because you seem to have so my problems. All the phone calls and the problem with your boobs. As Jared said maybe its time to go and watch a few football games ( not soccer ) football. 🙂

  4. rickythewiz

    I can’t sympathise, sorry. For me sport is there to get exercise and stay healthy. I think organised sports are a sham. Overpaid sports stars getting money to play games when nurses and other essential workers are paid poor wages. Why should some soccer stars get £200,000 a week to do effectively what children do every day at the park. Games are for kids and too much emphasis is put on sport. I think there are more important things in life. I don’t watch sport on TV and I certainly don’t attend games. Sport is there for fun and exercise and nothing else as far as I’m concerned. I’d say hooray for you in dumping the time wasters. Find something more worthy of your clearly brilliant intellect to spend time on.

  5. Touche! You make a very valid point. Don’t worry, although I do watch sports its pretty limited these days! Thanks for the nice comment about my “clearly brilliant intellect!” 🙂

  6. You made the right call, especially because the team in question was the Yankees. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching the last few years as I’ve spent decades away from the geographic area of my childhood teams and I feel a lot of melancholy in making the split, but i just don’t feel the connection anymore.

  7. The Yankees? Oh Steve, you can do SO much better!

  8. I watched my first gridiron game ( not football ) for years last night, i can only remember one team the Falcons. The best part was the cheer leaders, and i fell asleep half way through it 😆

  9. This is a great first step, but true freedom from prior addiction to the New York Yankees can only be accomplished by a complete disavowing of their right to exist. It matters not who you root for IMHO…anyone but the New York Yankees. You sound like you already have an alternate passion in mind. Follow your heart. Walk into the light. Walk away from the darkness.

    • LOL!! It’s definitely a love ’em or hate ’em team. I lived in New York (Long Island) from 4th grade (1977) until I moved in 1993. So I became a Yankees fan during the great Billy Martin years with Reggie and Ron Guidry and Thurmon Munson and Graig Nettles and all the others. Even through the absolutely horrid years of the 80’s and early 90’s when they pretty much sucked most of the time. But I have been away from NY for almost 18 years now. Oh well, guess I’ll just worry about football for now!

  10. Us Houston Astros fans need more to join us. I have never routed for such a sad team.

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