Those of you who read this post know that we recently experienced a major ice storm in our area.
Here’s my Facebook Post today…
It’s day four of Ice Storm 2011. As of this morning, Thursday, February 24, power was still out. Folks at the power company seem confident it will be restored today… that’s a good thing! In light of all of this, to try and find some humor in the whole situation, here’s the top 10 things I learned during this power outage. Sorry for a few choice words… it’s been a tough week!
10. A woodstove is a fabulous convenience in a house. It has saved our asses numerous times over the years, and especially during this outage. You can heat at least one room to a toasty 75-80 degrees. You can boil water on it. You could probably even cook a four course meal on it. Maybe I’ll try that one of these days when I don’t have anything more pressing to do.
9. When people ask if you have power yet and you say no, they say shit like… “oh my god, you don’t have power yet? It’s been a long time.” Hey, seriously… I can see that you’re concerned and all, but don’t make it sound like it’s my fucking fault that I don’t have power yet! If I could climb up the poles and rewire the whole fucking system… believe me… I would have done it by now. And yeah, it’s been a long time, no shit Sherlock! I’ve been living in one room of my house with the rest of my family for three days now and pissing in un-flushable toilets. No one has been murdered yet so as of right now it’s all good.
8. Both inventions have their benefits, but I’ve decided that indoor plumbing is a more important invention than electricity. I can make light and heat with candles and fire. On the other hand, with all due respect to Tom Edison… yeah, I know the whole kite and key thing, great story and all… but disposing of a shit in your house without plumbing is pretty difficult. Not that I tried or anything like that…
7. If I had to go back and live 100 years ago, and I could take either my TV or my laptop and internet… I’d take the laptop and internet. I could easily live without the TV, I don’t really like TV, and a few days of NOT having it constantly blaring with iCarly and all the other crap my kids watch makes me realize I really don’t like TV. I couldn’t live without my computer.
6. It’s easy to live without electricity if you don’t have to look good in the morning. If I was a homesteader and I just had to get up in the morning to start the daily chores… it wouldn’t matter what I looked or smelled like… I could be frickin’ Amish. The goats don’t give a shit if I am having a bad hair day. Cows, if I had any wouldn’t give a shit either. But when you have to get dressed and go to work and you just tried to take some semblance of a bath in the bathroom sink in the dark… well you can only do so much with hair gel.
5. Butt wipes are an important tool in the world of power outages. If the original American Colonists had access to butt wipes, they may not have been so pissed off, and we’d probably be under British rule today.
4. The folks at the power company deserve a big hug. Not only the guys that have been working 24 hours a day outside in the cold repairing power lines… but especially the people that have to answer the phone all day and listen to us douchebags tell them that our power is out. Yeah dude, everybody’s fucking power is out, we just had the worst ice storm in two decades. They need to get the hospitals, fire stations and police stations on-line before they can get you back on-line. Sorry you’re going to miss Glee this week.
3. Wine, and plenty of it, makes the whole damn situation seem just a little bit better.
2. Four people sleeping in one small room with a snoring St. Bernard, and a crackling fire can be uncomfortable and difficult. But in a weird way it has brought the family together for a few days without the distractions of TV’s and Wii’s and everything else. When your only focus when you get home is getting the fire re-started, figuring out how and what to eat for dinner and being comfortable for the night, you forget about all the other shit going on in your world… and for a few days that’s a good thing.
1. Maybe, just maybe it’s time to invest in a generator.