Tag Archives: artist

Shoes

painting

This is a painting that hangs in my home. My maternal grandmother painted this in 1983, from a photograph that was taken on a trip to the beach when I was a teenager.  She was an artist, an art teacher, a sculptor, a porcelain doll maker, a writer, a poet and an all-around, prolific talent. I credit her and my mother with instilling in me the importance of being creative. If you are interested, you can read more about her (and my equally unique grandfather) in these two posts.

An Empty Well and You’re So Handsome I Hope You Never Die

My family lived on Long Island and we would frequently drive to a beach in South Hampton, about an hour from our home and spend the day swimming in the waves, playing in the sand, cooking and eating and getting burned to a crisp. My father would pack every square inch of our station wagon with the vital supplies; a large canopy to block the sun, beach chairs, umbrellas, coolers full of food and drinks, beer and wine, a small charcoal grill to cook on, and plenty of sports balls and Frisbees and water and sand toys.

I don’t specifically remember this particular trip but over the years I have tried to identify who the shoes belonged to. I’m pretty sure the pair third from the right with the red stripes were mine and I think the pair third from the left with the blue stripes were my fathers. I’m guessing the white pair on the left belonged to my mother but I can’t be sure.  The rest, I believe belonged to aunts and uncles, a cousin and my two grandmothers, all of whom would have been visiting from New Jersey and Pennsylvania.  The small pair of pink flip-flops belonged to my cousin who is about ten years younger than me. There has been some debate, over the years, that perhaps one of the pairs of shoes belonged to a girlfriend of mine at the time, but in counting them up, I now believe it was all family on this particular trip. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

We have several of my grandmother’s paintings in our house and on most days, this painting is just another backdrop in our home. But in retrospect, when I really consider it’s meaning, it brings back a flood of memories. Even more so than many photographs.  It suggests a time when I filled my shoes with much different hopes and dreams and goals than I do now. Not necessarily better or worse, just different, younger, freer and with much less responsibility to be concerned with. It’s also reminds me that three of these people, my mother and my two grandmother’s are no longer with us.

But new shoes have filled those spots in my life. These days if you painted a picture of my family’s shoes at a trip to Lake Michigan it would likely look very similar to my grandmother’s painting from 1983, filled with sneakers and flip-flops and sandals. On other days that painting might include cleats or dress shoes or barn boots or running shoes. In just over six years from now when my two kids have gone away to college, the painting will be just of my wife’s and my shoes. If we are lucky though, someday after that, we can add some grand-kid’s shoes.

There is always a large pile of shoes gracing the entry way to our house, a pile which varies in size and variety depending on the season. It’s an easy thing to gripe about.

But there’s also a comfort in tripping over it every day.

Because it tells me, that even though life is never easy, there is still plenty of walking and perhaps even running to do and so far, we seem to be headed in the right direction.

Oh… and by the way, this was my 200th post! Thanks for reading!

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“I Don’t Want to Go to School!”

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow” my daughter said yesterday evening. Not so unusual words from a 13 year old kid. In fact not so unusual words from any kid on a Sunday night when “the blues” kick in. The Sunday night blues, that kind of sickish, crappy, depressed feeling you get when you know you have to start a new week, especially after a fun weekend. She spent Saturday with a close friend at a local women’s college basketball game. That same friend spent the night at our place and we took them with my son and I to a sledding event we hold every year with the cub scouts. Yes, no doubt a fun weekend and one that makes a Monday morning school day look, by far, less than appealing.

I also used to get the Sunday night blues occasionally as a kid… and lately I’ve been getting them again all too frequently. I keep wondering “don’t us responsible adults eventually grow out of that?”  I know it’s a function of not being terribly satisfied with work right now and realizing too that I have let pass some of the creative pursuits (music, art, writing, etc.) that showed their directional signs to me on the roads that I have traveled to get me to where I am now.  I was a cellist all through grade school.  I gave it up when I went away to college because I couldn’t find the drive to take it to the next level.  I used to sketch often but have not drawn anything in over two decades.  Of course, I love to write, which is what got me here to this blogging site.  The list goes on and on…

I’ve tried not to lose complete site of that part of me, but the day to day often gets in the way and free time is at a premium.  I envy the people that have been able to build that creativity into their working life… you know that part of your life that fills up MOST of your days!  Not that I necessarily could have made a lucrative career out of any of these activities, they call them “starving artists” for a reason!  But in hindsight, who knows?  There are so many decisions that we all make each and every day that alter the path that we will follow the next day.  More and more I find myself CRAVING the “creative life” and finding it harder and harder to compartmentalize the time spent each day working vs. “creating” vs. spending some quality time with my family, my anchors as they say. I guess I want it ALL, lumped conveniently into one nice package.

Lately I’ve tried to instill this thought process into my kid’s heads.  For sure, we have some time before we send them off to college and they begin planning out the rest of their lives!  But I want it be be crystal clear to them that the world really is their canvas, that they should never settle on the easy path and certainly never give up on their dreams!  Yeah, probably a little heavy for a couple of kids that aren’t thinking about much other than school and sports and video games… and in my daughter’s case… maybe boys (uugh!).  But I guess I feel, in their case, it’s never too EARLY to start… and maybe, just maybe, in my case, with the support of my wonderful family behind me… it’s never too LATE to start over!

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