“Are you a wadder or a folder?” Someone asked me that the other day. Not sure that is a question that should be discussed publicly but hey, I’m a pretty open-minded guy and I have to admit, the crowd grew and it developed into quite a conversation. I’ve talked about worse things, I suppose. “I’m a wadder”, I replied. He was a wadder too. There were several wadders in the group. There were some folders there too. There were even some wadders that I would have guessed were folders and even more interestingly, there were some folders, that I would have bet big money on them being wadders. I don’t think it’s ever been studied in-depth, but I would guess that folders tend to be organized folks, keeping all their stuff cataloged and in its proper place. Clean freaks too, always soaking themselves in Hand Sanitizer. Most bankers are probably folders. Accountants? Yeah they’re probably folders too. Brain surgeons and Rocket Scientists?… folders. Folders are probably people who like Origami. In fact, maybe they’re even practicing Origami when they’re folding. That’s why it takes them so fucking long. Wadders on the other hand are probably, more like me, creative types, disorganized, always looking for stuff, always feeling like they’re behind the eight ball with their lives. People that write blogs are probably wadders. Stand-up comics are probably wadders. Artists and writers and cartoonists? Yeah, most likely wadders. If folders like Origami than wadders probably enjoy finger painting… hopefully not while wadding.
I decided to do a little internet research, because, you know, everything you read on the internet is true. Plus I figured being a wadder or a folder was really just an opinion discussion, a way of life discussion, a personality trait discussion. There were no real facts to be concerned with or to validate here, no right or wrong, just the age-old question, “are you a wadder or a folder?” I discovered there is a lot of discussion about this whole phenomenon, so I was able to compile some valuable data. It seems people tend to have pretty strong beliefs and justifications about why they are wadders or folders. I did note that the people asking this question, on blogs and in forums, invariably ask with their preferred method first. For example, folders always ask, “are you a folder or a wadder”, while wadders will ask “are you a wadder or a folder?” I suspect that has something to do with humans being social creatures and wanting to subconsciously find people like themselves and justify their particular methods. In addition, I determined that apparently, there are not only wadders and folders, but there is a third group of people who identified themselves as wrappers. I’m not sure what careers would stand out in my mind as the types of people who are wrappers. Maybe they’re people who work at fast food restaurants and wrap burgers all day. I’m not even sure what it means to be a wrapper. I think maybe some wrappers are folders and they just don’t know that they are really just folding. I also discovered that there are people that are folders then wadders and that there are others that are folders then re-folders. That was a little disturbing to me, but I guess those people are what we call “green” and are trying to save resources. There was also someone who mentioned being a scruncher. I’m not entirely sure but I think a scruncher is just a wadder that resides in another country. Finally, I came across this particular quote which discusses the differences between the genders:
“Invariably, when I am presumptuous enough to inquire, women tell me they are wadders when scraping off, as opposed to being folders. Are you kidding me??? Wadding seems a very messy enterprise. Count me out. Of course, they probably have clean break offs, being females. I have malingerers, detritus. I need folding. It’s an engineering thing, I guess. It’s all about the coefficient of friction. Eight squares, perfectly folded. Twicet at times, thricet at times.”
Fascinating! I’ve never heard of “scraping off” and I’m not sure if “malingerers” is even a real word… but apparently Engineers are folders too. That would make sense… but this particular fellow seems to be a talented writer, with a strong vocabulary and a solid grasp of the English language as well. So, although he claims to be a folder, I wonder if maybe, just maybe, he is really a closet wadder. I don’t know…
In any case, whether you’re a wadder or a folder or a wrapper… or perhaps even a scruncher… I’m not really terribly interested in getting an in-box full of comments letting me know which you are. ‘Cause that’s some shit that I just can’t deal with right now!