Fuck, I can’t ignore this situation any longer…
So, apparently people are fond of showing love and respect for the Brown Road Chronicles because I keep getting nominated for these blogging awards that are continually forwarded around our little community here. I’m starting to think there is only a tiny number of bloggers passing around these same awards, like some kind of sexual disease, because I keep catching them… I mean getting them…. uh, I mean receiving them… uhhh…
Anyhow, on previous nominations, I have passed these off as a silly gimmick and haven’t written the required reply posts accepting the awards and telling everybody how I like to wear purple knickers or whatever other secrets people want to know about me. See, I have never been very good at receiving awards and praise. I’m kind of a humble guy and even though it’s true, I don’t like to walk around telling people how fucking handsome and awesome I am. Seriously, I just don’t think that’s right. But I have now been nominated for the following awards including four within the last several days: The Stylish Blogger Award; The Meme-Tastic Blogger Award; The Versatile Blogger Award (five times in two different formats); and the Award with the little gold guy holding the trophy, which apparently doesn’t have a name. So that’s like eight awards, which is a lot of fucking praise!
With that in mind, I thought I better start taking this shit seriously or risk becoming some kind of a blogging outcast, who no one likes and who has to go live on a deserted island somewhere, where there’s no internet connection… and although sometimes that kinda sounds pretty good… well… who really needs that? So, if I remember correctly, here are the bloggers that have reaped these praises on me. These are all great blogs that I like to read, so please take some time and check them out. Hopefully I haven’t missed anybody.
Edmonton Tourist
Clouded Marbles
Big Sheep Blog
Spectrum Woman
momfog
The Throw Down
Dribbling Pensioner
Now, those of you who have been blogging for a while know that it quickly becomes pretty difficult to find good bloggers who haven’t already received numerous nominations for these fine awards. So rather than just continually spreading these awards around to the same writers, I dug deep down and came up with five great, but little known, blogs that I spend a lot of time reading. All of these have managed to stay somewhat anonymous, but they are clearly deserving of some blogging praise, so I thought I should share them with you. Don’t forget to click on the links and check these out! Here goes…
Daily Beauty Tips for Metrosexual Farmers:
This is a great read, written by farmers for farmers. Now I’m not a farmer, but sometimes I play one on my own blog… and I can definitely be a little metrosexual, so I find a lot of great information on this site. Stuff like where to find tight-fitting, low-rise skinny overalls and fitted John Deere tees, how much gel to put in your hair so that a straw hat won’t give you hat head and how to clean horse shit off your Sperry’s.
This is a great blog written by two meth-addicted goats that live somewhere in Michigan and write about how they party on Twinkies and Meth and cans of Coke while their owners are off at work. It’s a fucking awesome read, like reality TV for goats. Seriously funny shit! I read it mostly so I can be sure my own goats don’t go down that same path. I’ve already noticed they’ve been eating a lot of Twinkies…
Big Beautiful Breasts and Bushhogs:
This is a porno site… uhhh… I mean a farm equipment site I read… you know… to keep up on… you know… farm equipment… you know… just in case… you know… I might ever need to buy something… you know… like farm equipment.
Wine Drinking for Hillbillies:
If you like to drink wine in obscene and excessive amounts, this is the site to read. Whether it be wine from a jug, wine from a box, or wine you can make in ten gallon drums in your basement with some Welch’s Grape Juice and a package of bread yeast… well it’s all there. Plus, tips on how to survive tripping over a chair and falling into the fire pit, how to pretend you remember the conversation you had with your wife the night before, and what kinds of glassware you can use to trick your friends into thinking they’re drinking something other than wine you made in your basement.
This is an important blog that I like to read so that when I’m hanging out with my male friends and they’re talking sports, I can sound like I actually know what the fuck I am talking about, even though I really don’t. It includes great advice, like how to pronounce names like Ndamukong Suh and Nnamdi Asomugha and T.J. Houshmandzadeh, how to draft a decent Fantasy Football team when you only know like six players, how to discretely empty bottles of Budweiser and refill them with Chardonnay so friends think you’re actually drinking Budweiser, and subtle ways to change the subject of the conversation from sports to the latest issue of GQ Magazine.
So, there you go, five great reads for you to click away on. Now, I’m also supposed to tell y’all some stuff about myself… but screw that… that’s what my blog is all about anyhow. Just keep reading and you’ll find out enough. If you really want to know about me, read the interview.
And now, in all seriousness, if you want to read some great blogs, check out my blogroll. It should be just to the right on your screen about now. Those are all blogs that I follow and read and comment on regularly. I’m not going to pass them any awards, because they already know how fucking awesome they are!
The Brown Road Chronicles 
