The Rules of Texting

Here’s a phone, our teenage child.
It’s for your safety, don’t go wild.
With all that texting to your peers.
When the bill comes you will be in tears.

i will b careful ys i will
dnt wnt 2 hv 2 pay that bill
ill only txt a ltl bit
i dnt wnt u to hav a fit

Now let us set a few small rules.
Your parents aren’t a couple fools.
Even though you are an awesome kid.
There’s just some things we must forbid.

wat r these rules u must enforce
u know i wnt go wld of course
ive nvr bn in trouble b4
u shouldnt worry anymre

Just listen up, these rules are easy.
They’re nothing that will make you queasy.
No texting after you’re in bed.
And we can check your texting thread.

ok i promise u can trust
i think ur rules r very just
i wnt b txting after bed
and u can ck my txting thread

For many months you’ve had your phone.
We’ve noticed you’re quite texting prone.
So, so many every day.
Is not that which we want to pay.

bt all my frnds r txting me
i hv 2 reply asap
or else theyll wndr where i am
thats somthng u shld nt condemn

We’ve noticed something else as well.
You told us you would not rebel.
You’re texting after you’re in bed.
We sure don’t like to be misled.

im sorry & im guilty 2
im sorry i disobeyed u
i know i did it now and then
im sorry it wont happen again

We appreciate your true confession.
But you’ve made a serious transgression.
We’re going to take your phone away.
We’re going to take it for a day.

i thnk thats fair i undrstnd
i undrstnd ur reprimand
my phones a privilege nt a rt
i c that in a whole new lite

Thank you child for being you.
Sometimes you’ll break a rule or two.
Your Mom and Dad are here to guide.
The world’s a scary place outside.

i know ur trying 2 do ur best
4 tht i thnk my life is blessed
i luv u so much even tho
it dsnt alwys seem 2 show

O’ child of ours we love you too.
We’ll always love you through and through.
Sometime you’ll look back on these days.
And know you grew in many ways.

*based on a true story!


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33 responses to “The Rules of Texting

  1. Kim

    Love it, love it, yes I do! I am so lucky to have you 🙂
    You make me laugh when I want to fret…so very clever, my cheeks are wet!
    Thanks again, you are the “Man.” Glad we share the same kid-care-plan.

  2. Margie

    Good Story! My grand children don’t have cell phones yet, but if their mom confiscates their phones the same way she does their Nintendos, their texting time will be miniscule…

  3. jennygoth

    kids and mobiles go together and they passed it on to us grown ups maybe they should set some rules up for us too mam and dad your really bad show us some family rules and dont be mad xxjen

  4. bigsheepcommunications

    Ah, a parental rite of passage – been there.

  5. You always make me smile & laugh buddy…great job again!

  6. Reason number 893 why I refuse to let my 9 1/2 year old have a cell phone yet…..


  7. How very clever! Enjoyed every second!

    Lake Forest, CA
    **Down 10lbs in 2 weeks woot!

  8. LMAO. Okay buddy, you’re a hoot. And a sweet dad.

  9. Nice rhyme. That’s a sweet sentiment. Yelling really only upsets everyone. Did you read accidentalstepmoms post last week, about her stepchild making over 18,000 texts in one month? Really. Eighteen thousand texts! Your child is showing much restraint, by comparison. But I spose its best to nip it in the bud!

    (BTW, oops, you and others read my Birdhouse Slumlord post this morning before I was finished editing, it was still a mess. I had lost my internet while working on it, and couldn’t fix it for over 10 hours. Just fessing up to my shame. Yet another one!)

    • Thanks Spectra. Although I have occasionally, I am not much of a yeller as I agree it doesn’t really help. Plus they’re such great kids it’s hard to really get mad at them!! I did not read that post by stepmom but will have to take a look. Regarding your birdhouse post, I thought it looked pretty good, but I’ve been guilty of accidentally posting things before they were finished as well!

  10. I hope you get this published (apart from here). Personally, I have texting optioned-off my phone (it’s a smartphone, if I can video chat w/ you, why text?).

  11. I had the same problem with our grand-daughter ( 14 – 15 ) when she lived with us, had to take the phone of her when she went to bed.

  12. Bravo! This is so damn good. 🙂

    I tell my kids that we get a print out of every text they send with the bill each month…keeps them honest. 😉

  13. I have boys, my oldest pays his own bill, youngest is way less of a texter than I am 🙂 I got a blackberry so I can BBM (texting for free to other BB users) and don’t go over the legal limit of texting…hahahahah…

  14. You so need a Twitter account! People would love this! I would Tweet you to the high heavens. So fantastic. Your range is amazing. And not for nothing, but I have a “surprise” coming your way.


  15. Absolutely love it!!!! I empathise, especially with the after bed thing!

    • Hi TO! Yes, I am sure with all your children you will experience a texting overload as well. Perhaps you already have.

      • Not yet – they don’t have SIM cards yet, but they all have access to the house wi-fi on their iPhones so Facebook posting after they are in bed is the problem!

        I know – iPhones with no SIM – but we have had other expenses and the iPhones were a gife from my eldest daughter and her husband. SIM cards will come.

  16. No cell phones for my kids yet, Thank God. The oldest is in middle school so I know it’s only a matter of time. So far, he hasn’t even asked. I suspect because he already knows the answer. Smart boy.

    • We got our daughter’s phone when she entered middle school. I think somewhere through the middle school ages is a good time. As I said somewhere earlier, it’s saved our ass a few times having her able to contact us and vice versa. Although we don’t want our kids constantly tied to electronics, I think this day and age a cell phone can be a valuable tool.

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