Monthly Archives: February 2011

Beautiful Girl

Awhile back I wrote this post about wanting to write a song and not being able to find the words.  Well, I guess this whole blogging thing has finally freed the creativity and the writers block.  Thank you all for the encouragement!!

So, here’s my first song.  I wrote this song for my daughter who is 13 and who is growing up too fast… who better to inspire some lyrics than Daddy’s Girl.  It’s a simple song but it took me about two weeks to finish it and the final version is nothing like the original started as.  Maybe this will lead to many more. 

Here’s the link to hear it on youtube.  Sorry the recording isn’t great but that’s what you get with a video camera.

And here’s the lyrics:

Beautiful Girl (Madeline’s Song)

Beautiful Girl
Every day you make my world so right
Every day you make the stars shine bright
Like a warm summer night

Beautiful Girl
Yesterday you were just a child
Bringing joy with that innocent smile
You’re only here for awhile

Beautiful Girl
As every cherished moment goes past
These precious days I know won’t last
You’re growing up too fast

I fight back the tears ’cause I know
Someday I’ll have to let you go
To spread your wings and to find your pot of gold
But don’t forget
You’ll always be my beautiful girl
You’ll always be my beautiful girl

Beautiful Girl
I hope you know I adore you so
I hope you know my love will show
How your life will grow

Beautiful Girl
The world can be beautiful place
Go out and find some dreams to chase
Show the world your grace

Beautiful Girl
There will be times when you feel far away
On those days when your music doesn’t play
Sing this song and I’ll say

Fight back the tears ’cause you’ll know
That even though you’re on your own
Just spread your wings and you’ll find your pot of gold
But don’t forget
You’ll always be my beautiful girl
You’ll always be my beautiful girl
You’ll always be my beautiful girl


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Top 10 things I learned during Ice Storm 2011

Those of you who read this post know that we recently experienced a major ice storm in our area.

Here’s my Facebook Post today…

It’s day four of Ice Storm 2011.  As of this morning, Thursday, February 24, power was still out.  Folks at the power company seem confident it will be restored today… that’s a good thing!  In light of all of this, to try and find some humor in the whole situation, here’s the top 10 things I learned during this power outage.  Sorry for a few choice words… it’s been a tough week! 

 10.   A woodstove is a fabulous convenience in a house.  It has saved our asses numerous times over the years, and especially during this outage.  You can heat at least one room to a toasty 75-80 degrees.  You can boil water on it.  You could probably even cook a four course meal on it.  Maybe I’ll try that one of these days when I don’t have anything more pressing to do.

 9.   When people ask if you have power yet and you say no, they say shit like… “oh my god, you don’t have power yet?  It’s been a long time.”  Hey, seriously… I can see that you’re concerned and all, but don’t make it sound like it’s my fucking fault that I don’t have power yet!  If I could climb up the poles and rewire the whole fucking system… believe me… I would have done it by now.  And yeah, it’s been a long time, no shit Sherlock!  I’ve been living in one room of my house with the rest of my family for three days now and pissing in un-flushable toilets.  No one has been murdered yet so as of right now it’s all good.

 8.   Both inventions have their benefits, but I’ve decided that indoor plumbing is a more important invention than electricity.  I can make light and heat with candles and fire.  On the other hand, with all due respect to Tom Edison… yeah, I know the whole kite and key thing, great story and all… but disposing of a shit in your house without plumbing is pretty difficult.  Not that I tried or anything like that…

 7.   If I had to go back and live 100 years ago, and I could take either my TV or my laptop and internet… I’d take the laptop and internet.  I could easily live without the TV, I don’t really like TV, and a few days of NOT having it constantly blaring with iCarly and all the other crap my kids watch makes me realize I really don’t like TV.  I couldn’t live without my computer.

 6.   It’s easy to live without electricity if you don’t have to look good in the morning.  If I was a homesteader and I just had to get up in the morning to start the daily chores… it wouldn’t matter what I looked or smelled like… I could be frickin’ Amish.  The goats don’t give a shit if I am having a bad hair day. Cows, if I had any wouldn’t give a shit either.  But when you have to get dressed and go to work and you just tried to take some semblance of a bath in the bathroom sink in the dark… well you can only do so much with hair gel.

 5.   Butt wipes are an important tool in the world of power outages.  If the original American Colonists had access to butt wipes, they may not have been so pissed off, and we’d probably be under British rule today.

 4.   The folks at the power company deserve a big hug.  Not only the guys that have been working 24 hours a day outside in the cold repairing power lines… but especially the people that have to answer the phone all day and listen to us douchebags tell them that our power is out.  Yeah dude, everybody’s fucking power is out, we just had the worst ice storm in two decades.  They need to get the hospitals, fire stations and police stations on-line before they can get you back on-line.  Sorry you’re going to miss Glee this week.

 3.   Wine, and plenty of it, makes the whole damn situation seem just a little bit better. 

2.   Four people sleeping in one small room with a snoring St. Bernard, and a crackling fire can be uncomfortable and difficult.  But in a weird way it has brought the family together for a few days without the distractions of TV’s and Wii’s and everything else.  When your only focus when you get home is getting the fire re-started, figuring out how and what to eat for dinner and being comfortable for the night, you forget about all the other shit going on in your world… and for a few days that’s a good thing.

 1.   Maybe, just maybe it’s time to invest in a generator.


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A Troubling Situation

I wrote a post awhile back called “I Don’t Want to Go to School”. I was having one of those Sunday nights where I didn’t want to get up for work the next day. It wasn’t really even about not wanting to go to school. It was about that feeling I used to get as a kid on Sunday nights when the joy of the weekend was over, and how I have been feeling it lately as an adult. But what I have discovered since writing that fine piece is that it appears there is a rampant outbreak in the child populous, of kids that don’t want to go to school… an epidemic! No, perhaps it should be classified as an endemic:

en•dem•ic:  natural to or characteristic of a specific people or place; native; indigenous.

Yes, an endemic, characteristic of a specific people… those people being kids… and not just any kids… indigenous kids… and not just any indigenous kids… but apparently a rogue band of thugs that think they can take on the world with total disregard to the covenants of law and order and societal stability, kids that are trying to deceive their parents, and ultimately figuring out ways to not have to go to school.

Heathens, I say… heathens!

Personally I am troubled by this development, by this trend towards school based animosity in our youth… I always wanted to go to school… and even when I didn’t want to go to school, which was most days, I got up and went to school. I didn’t try to get out of going to school and I didn’t have the internet to help me design some trickster scheme to get out of it, like these fraudulent children that are sitting in their rooms at night typing away on their computers or their i-phones, trying to find ways to pretend to be sick or incapacitated and unable to attend school. In fact, I was always up and ready for school on time, promptly out to the bus stop, dressed dapperly in my matching Garanimals clothing and proudly carrying my lunchbox… the epitome of grade school scholarly excellence. My older brothers on the other hand… hooligans… always late, running around chaotically every morning trying to get showered and dressed and find their school books and finish their homework and perhaps eat something for breakfast.

So… how, you ask, do I know about this endemic that is destroying our youth, eating away at our future leaders of the free world, sucking the life out of our society? Well, let me tell you… let me see if I can convey the gravity of this dire situation. Each day as I read my stats page, which as you know from my post B.O.O.B.S. can become a serious mental health condition, I have noticed a boon of readership being directed to my blog by an abundance of search engine terms from disillusioned children that don’t want to go to school.

I have listed and cataloged these search terms and expressions below and included some expert analysis about these youth that I gathered from a team of renowned experts and led by Professor of Sociopathology at Harvard University, Dr. Schullis Sukey.

Category 1:  i don’t want to go to school  and  “i don’t want to go to school”

These children clearly have the capacity to become future leaders of a rogue nation, all spelling and punctuation is correct, they are educated, they state the facts clearly and succinctly. Our experts could not decipher the use of quotation marks, perhaps a future blogger or leader of a terrorist organization.

Category 2:  I don’t want to go to school tomorrow  and  tomorrow don’t want to go to school

These children are singularly focused only on the following day, tomorrow… clearly a function of not having an assignment done. These are procrastinators, deadbeats, delinquents, those who will one day be taking handouts and sucking entitlements from our government.

Category 3:  I don’t want school  and  don’t want school

These are not just children that don’t want to go to school. These kids don’t WANT school, they don’t believe in school, as if society would be better off if we didn’t have laws that required our children to become educated and productive members of our society. They can only be classified as renegades, laggards. As adults, these children will thrive only in some kind of Mad-Max apocalyptic society.

Category 4:  Don’t want to to go to school photos  and  I don’t want to go to school youtube

Not only do these children not want to go to school, they are voyeuristic, they are searching for images and video of other kids not going to school. It is suspected that since they don’t know how not to have to go to school themselves, they can only thrive vicariously on images of other outlaw youth not going to school. These children will grow into adults who will be chronically unemployed and will wastefully spend their days viewing videos and images of other non-productive adults not going to work.

Category 5:  I don’t want 2 go school  and  Don’t wanna go 2 school 2 day

These children like numbers, maybe they excel in mathematics. More likely they are chronic texters, technologically saavy, early-adapters of the latest high-tech gadgets. These children can only be classified as those who will someday develop the skills to infiltrate vast government and financial computer systems. Studies show these kids have the potential to cause great harm to society but only if they are able to refrain from the deleterious effects of texting while driving.

Category 6:  I don’t go to school  and  I don’t to go to school

These children are an anomaly. At first glance it appears they have already abandoned any semblance of a productive life. They don’t go to school. They most likely have parents who are so wrapped-up in their own personal problems that they are unaware that their children are not going to school. Yet, on the other hand, these are kids that are the deciders, kids that have taken this whole school situation into their own hands. These children will probably grow up to become successful leaders and entrepreneurs.

Category 7:  don’t go school, do not want to school, I don’t wan school  and  I don,t want school

These children are a major concern. Evidence suggests that they do not want to go to school because, frankly, it’s most obvious that they are struggling in school. Issues with spelling, grammar and punctuation lead our experts to believe these kids are not getting the special attention and access to remedial programs necessary to bring them up to academic speed with the rest of their classmates. The No Child Left Behind program has clearly left these children behind. Rapid intervention is crucial for these children to not become criminally active and a scourge to society.

Category 8:  Kid don’t want to go to school

This classification of child baffled our team of experts. In the search engine terms, this youth clearly identifies himself as a “kid”. It is believed that this youngster has a clear and confident self-image. Evidence here suggests this is just an average kid that doesn’t want to go to school.

So, my friends… now that you have a clear understanding of the issues at hand, I implore you to stay aware and abreast of this troubling situation. I’ll leave you with this message:  to all the kids out there that are reading my blog…

Kids, stay in school and don’t do drugs.

Now, if I could only get control of all of the creepy readership being directed to my blog by my article on B.O.O.B.S.


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Ice Storm


Ice Storm

Trees covered in glass

So magical

Branches glisten in the morning light

And plink like wind chimes

As frozen appendages dance together in the wind

Then crack under the weight

of the ice

And crash to the ground

So destructive

One of nature’s anomalies

I am outside

in the bitter cold

The ground crunches under my feet

And when cars drive by

Everything blanketed

in a glistening coat

But the world does not stop

It will recover from the wounds

And in due time

the warm sun will shine

Where the thick ice

once exhibited its radiant beauty

and wreaked

it’s calamitous ruin




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